Russian Brides Cyber Guide's "Black List"

Ekaterina Sokolova (Murmansk, Russia)

I am a 56 years old white American. I have been divorced for 12 years. I have done very little dating in that time. I got custody of my children in the divorce so raising kids and my business interests came first. Recently, I had started thinking more about it and put my profile on Yahoo! Personals. As if destiny had intervened, Ekaterina, a pretty young Russian woman, contacted me "out of the blue". Ekaterina is 32 years old (33 on her birthday October 15). She is an elementary school teacher. She lives with her mother. Her father was killed in an automobile accident. She has no brothers or sisters. One of her best friends is Svetlana. Of course all or none of this may actually be true. I was very skeptical and told her so. Upon that first contact, I began looking into scams and found your site. After searching every inch of it, I found no sign of Ekaterina. So, I continued to correspond with her, hoping that it was for real, but remaining suspicious. Her photos were not "glamour" shots, but pictures of her at home in casual clothing. Her letters actually addressed questions or comments that I had made in my previous letters. She did not ask for money. I believed every word, but still had the underlying doubt because of the age difference and the extraordinary coincidence of her contact with me. I was seriously planning to visit her and had applied for my passport. She was anxious to see me, but told me on several occasions that with the help of her friend, she could get papers in 10 days and we could be together for her birthday. However, she could not afford it without my financial help. I reiterated my concerns for sending money to someone I had not met and continue to plan for a trip to Murmansk (which might have been interesting to visit, I think). At any rate, here are a few of her e-mails and photos. I kept them primarily for this reason, although I would have much preferred for her to be real. By the way, she is also Galina, as reported by Kevin on October 4. Thank you Kevin, I owe you! If I had not seen his story, I may have been taken in. Doug

Letters:

This is her first letter after I responded to the initial contact:
Hello! My name is Ekaterina I became very interested in your letter. And I am so glad that you became interested in me. I liked you. And I decided to write you. Please send me more your photos if you have it. At first I'd like to tell you some information about me. I am 32 years old. I am not married. I was born in very beautiful northern Russian town, which is placed about 2000 of kilometers from Moscow. Its name is Murmansk. And now I am living there. It is a big old town with its fascinating history, remarkable people and unique nature, in a word, the town which I love very much. It would be very interesting for me if you told something about your motherland and town where are you living at this moment. I work at school. I am a teacher of initial classes. I like my work, because I love children and children love me. I have no my children. But it is very difficult work because it demands great psychological preparation, psychological knowledge. It is not easy to work with children. And tell me please about your work and about your attitude to children. I like to do sports in the pleasure, my life style is healthy. I don't smoke and drink. I think that people who do it kill their health and thus realizing and understanding it very well, but I don't condemn them because everybody chooses what he(she) wants and it is only his or her choice. I like to read interesting and fascinating books about love. I have read a lot of novels. I am ready to read it day and night. The reading of this books carries me away to the wonderful world of romanticism and love. I like to listen to the good and high quality music, especially romantic music. I can't name something concrete of the world of the music. And what music and what books do you like? And what do you like to do in your free time? And as for me I like to spend my free time with my mother. I live with her, but see her very seldom because of the work. And the time spending with her is the best time. Unfortunately my father has tragically died more recently. He has got in automobile incident. It is very sad but our life is going further and we must move forward and not stay in one place. I love my mother very much and I do everything she feel well. Tell me please about your family. Well, perhaps it is all what I wanted to tell you about myself and to ask you at first. I hope that you will like my letter and to get your answer. I will wait it with great impatience. Goodbye! Your new friend Ekaterina from Russia.

This one is almost identical to one sent by Galina to Kevin:
Hello Doug, Thank you very much for your letter. It was very pleasant to get it for me. I was not sure that you would continue the correspondence with me. I was afraid that you could lose the interest to me. Fortunately it didn't happen so and I am very glad of this fact. I have never corresponded by the Internet. That is why everything what is connected with our correspondence is new, very interesting and surprising for me. And sometimes I don't know what to do, what to write, more precisely, what I can write you. I don't know as far as I can be open to you, sincere. I thought about it and decided to be sincere with you on 100 and tell you only the truth. I heard about the acquaintances with help of the Internet a lot, but I didn't think that I would do it. I came to such decision, because I lost any hope to find man of my dreams in my country. All Russian men with whom I had the acquaintance made me unhappy, almost all of them were the scoundrels or alcoholics or we just didn't find the common language with each other. May be I hadn't luck or I knew too little of men (my living experience in this question is not enough) and may be there are no normal men in Russia or at least in the place where I live. In Russia almost all of men drink and are false to their wives, certainly there are good men but they don't want to create the family, they are not ready for the serious relations. I am sure that I will not find the man who I will be able to love in Russia. I don't want spend all my life like a lot of Russian women: they became accustomed that their husbands behave regarding to them disrespectfully. I don't want to stand such attitude; I don't want to see calmly how my husband drinks or how he betrays me. I just want to be happy, to be loved and to love... And that is why I decided to try to find my happiness abroad. I have no my personal computer and nobody of my friends don't have it and this fact became the barrier in for the realization of my dream. But my best friend Svetlana suggested me to use the Internet cafe for this purpose. Certainly it is expensive for me but it gives me the possibility to communicate with you. I have no the computer and I was not able to use the computer. When I came to Internet cafe the manager of it helped me and explained what I should do, showed me some men and I chose you. I liked you very much. I think it is Destiny. And I hope that our acquaintance will have very happy future. Please write me what do you think about everything I have written you in this letter. I will wait... I hope that I will know your opinion very and very soon. Bye-bye!!!!!!!!!!!! Ekaterina.

This is where she begins to "fall in love":
Hi Doug!!!! Thank you very much for your answer!! It was interesting for me to know your mind of my words in last letter. I really don't understand what is happening with me. Do you spoke me that you want to meet with me that we could know that I am really? I think that it very much a good idea?! I would be happy to meet with you in your country, I have dream to see America with my eyes. You could show me many interesting places. Also I understand that we should correspond with you and learn each other better before we shall decide to meet with you. When you want to meet with me? I think that we could meet with you on my birthday on 15 of October? Do you like my idea? Also I want to hear your voice, to feel your breath but I haven't a phone and the international communication. As soon as I learn something I shall speak you about it. And I want to send to you my address: Russia, Murmansk city, Marata street 26-4.I begin to become attached to you. Our communicating really became the important part of my life. I hope that you believe and trust me, because the trust is main in relations for me. I am sure that people cannot create any relations without it. My parents taught me so. They were living together for 25 years. And all this time they loved, trusted, and respected each other. I didn't hear the shout any time in our house. I saw only the warmth and understanding. I was looking on unique example of happy family and I can't imagine that something in family relations must occur on another. May be that is why I am still alone, I still didn't find the man, with whom I can spend all my life, to whom I can devote everything I do and to whom I can present all without the rest. Men with whom I got the acquaintance just have disappointed me. I lost the hope in happiness and love. I had very sad experience of relations with men, I don't want to remember about it. I hope that in the future the luck will not leave me any more and happiness will not abandon me. I want to tell that you taught me to be pleased of life, of every day, every moment of it. Thank you very much for it. My friends (it is necessary to say that there are more women among them) are so happy for me, in fact they see that I shine with the bright light inside. Your letters make me good mood. I get used for them. I can't imagine my life without your nice letters. I like them and.... I like you... And I think that, may be, in the future you and I will be able to develop strong relations, I hope on our happy future. P.S. I was talking about communicating with you to my mother and she wished me the luck, the happiness in our future relations. She is very glad that I have found so good man as you. She has liked you already with my words. And it is very good sign, because my mother is an expert in people, she has never be mistaken. That is why I don't regret that I have chosen you. Unfortunately, I must run soon. I will wait your answer with great impatience. I send to you a photo with my girlfriends. Do you like it? Bye-bye!! Your Ekaterina...

This is where it starts to get serious. She had not written for a week:
Dear Doug, good day!!!! I am happy today because I can write to you now. I arrived yesterday in my city. I have received some professional knowledge for my work. I travelled in Kovdor city. I am writing you to say that it's the indescribable joy for me to reply you again. I get a great pleasure reading your mails. I really understand your letters and I like to do it. May be, I have thought out a sweet fairy-tale for myself, but I like it very, very much, I want to believe in it. Do you want to come in Russia? Yes, I would be happy to meet with you on my birthday. I could show you Russia. It is good idea! Also I understand that expense maybe wasted if anything were to go wrong with our relationship. I want to tell to you that our relations depends only on us. I want to have relations with you and to see our future, maybe you my destiny and happiness!!! I do not want to break your heart, I want to cherish and do you happy. I am confident that you want to see our future too and to do me happy. So let's start make our future!!! Our meeting in our hands. Also I thought much and I have decided that maybe will be better if I shall arrive to you? Do you want it? I spoke you that I have an opportunity to receive my papers and to arrive to you in 10 days. I do not want that we wasted time, we have not enough time till my birthday. You should make a decision as soon as possible who will arrive (I am or you). Also I understand that you can have doubts concerns about sending money to someone because you never met me? I understand you, but I think that we should trust each other. Without trust there can not be a love. Also it is very it is pleasant to know that you want to marry. I feel confident that you would be a wonderful the husband for me too!!! Also if I could arrive to you, my mum would be very happy for me. She wishes good luck and huge love for me. My mum understands that in Russia there are not opportunities to create happy family with Russian men. Many Russian men drink Russian vodka also do not want to create happy family. Also thank you for your address. And you want to know my surname to send present for me by post? My surname is Sokolova. I want to tell to you that in Russia the post badly works and not each sending can reach the addressee. I hope that you understand me? I think that it will be better if you will send photos through e-mail. I think that you put in words less, than you really think, feel and would like to tell me, because words can't transfer and express all our thoughts and feelings. But it doesn't prevent to me to feel you and to read between lines. It seems to me that I have known you for a long time - all my life. I have the feeling that I read your spirit, your heart... Do you want to know my the most treasured dream? Above all I want - it is to see you my own eyes. I wish to see your face, your eyes and you entirely and to talk with you directly, to feel you in reality that is my great desire. My life is becoming to be like beautiful novels, which I have read a lot, but I have never read something like that. I can even say that my life is becoming more wonderful than the life of heroes of my favorite novels. I could not even think that the Destiny would be so favorable to me and would present me chance to be happy. But one fact upsets me and makes me unhappy: you are so far from me; thousand kilometers are between us... But I am absolutely sure that happiness has no borders. All people want be happy; it is great pleasure, joy and happiness to have the man who worry about you, who need you and whom you need, who always understands and supports you, who will never betray you, who give you the warmth of his heart - one a word, who loves you and whom you love. There are no any barriers for love, certainly if this love is real. And I want to admit to you in something... It is very difficult to do it for me, because I don't know your reaction to my words and I don't know your real feelings to me, but I say it because I can't keep these feelings inside my heart any more, I want to share them with you, I want you to know about it - it seems to me that... I begin to fall in love with you. And I dream to meet with you in reality. I will hope that my words will be pleasant for you. I will think of your and about your reaction to my words. I will hope that you can feel something like that to me. Please write to me as soon as possible. I kiss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ekaterina.

This is the last letter I received, before I found her on your blacklist:
Hello, good day, my dear Doug. I am sorry, I could not write to you some days, because internet-cafe didn't work. I miss you. I'd like to tell you that I am just incredible happy that I have got the acquaintance with you. I had a lot of different thoughts in my head during last days. I thought of you a lot. I have never thought about man so much. You are always in my head. You are in every my step, every my deal, you help me in everything. You are Bring to me a success. I understood that I really couldn't live without you! You have came into my life and have changed all my thoughts and feelings. You are man, about whom I could only dream. You really have changed my life; you gave me the hope on the sweetest and the happiest future. I really read your letters between words and lines, and I am sure that I see your heart in your letters. I want to feel you in real life; I want to feel your touches. I want to see your eyes. I want you to show me all around you - I want to see everything what you see by your eyes, I want to breathe air which you breathe. I want to touch you and your clothes as people who are around you - one a word I want to feel the atmosphere of the world where you live. I envy people whom are around you. They even can't imagine how much they are happy. In fact they can talk with you, they can give you their love. I could give everything I have in my life to find myself on their places. I imagine how it would be wonderful to get up in the morning and see your face. How it would be pleasant to fall a sleep in your embraces. It would make me happy to take care of you: to cook your favorite dishes and to look after your clothes, to do everything you can feel yourself comfortable in our house; it would be very wonderful to love you. I am the happiest woman in the world, because I can dream about all that and this fact already makes me happy. I am ready to give everything for the one moment spending with you. I ask the God to present me such possibility and now I can only wait the miracle. I believe that nothing can't replace one real meeting. And I wish to meet you. If you have the same wish and possibility, tell me, please, about it, I will know how we can meet. I know that, may be, I am a hopeless romantic, but I truly believe that our meeting with is the best, what could happened with us. I kiss and hug you. Your Ekaterina.

Elena Slezareva (Saratov-Engels, Russia)

I am a single guy, 33 years old and live in Colorado, USA. I was first contacted by Elena Slezareva on 17-Aug-2004 through webdate.com. She used the profile galechkas and after the initial contact she used the email address minniemouse@mabuta.com. Her last email to me was on 01-Oct-2004. Thankfully, I did not send her any money because I thought to call the airline she said she made a reservation before sending any money. The guy at the airline after confirming no reservation told me that their office receives 7-10 calls a week regarding these scams. He told me to search the web and I found this site. I did not find any pictures matching the pictures I received until today under the slightly different spelling of Elena Slesareva. The letters received by Joe from Texas were nearly identical to the letters I received and they started on the same date and mine seems to have ended after she asked me for money and I didn't send it. I reported her profile to webdate but her profile is still there. I've attached all the letters. By the way, the letter in which she requested money was nearly identical to other letters I found on your website under the names Natalia Jurevna Smirnova (Novorossiyk, Russia) and Nadezdha Bobrova1 and it included a scan of her visa. I sent the visa to the U.S. embassy in Moscow, Russia at consulmo@state.gov and asked if it was fake and they replied in one day saying "Unfortunately, we need to inform you that this is not a valid visa. It is an old visa that has been altered to look valid. We express our regrets for any inconvenience that you may have been through." I don't know if it's the same scammer or if they're just using the same letters. I received the same pics as Joe in Texas plus some more. I've attached some different ones including the first one that she sent. Rafe in Colorado.

Letters:

Date: 8/17/2004 3:13:29 AM
Hi! My name is Elena. I'm newbie in Internet-dating, therefore I beforehand apologize, if I write something incorrectly. I have thought, that I want to know you better, when I saw your profile on site named WebDate.com My personal email address is: minniemouse@mabuta.com Please email me if you're interested of course, and excuse me if my message has reached you when you were in bad mood. Elena. minniemouse@mabuta.com

Date: 8/23/2004 7:16:10 AM
Hi Rafe! I'm Elena from webdate. First of all I want to apologize, that I did not answered you for a long time. Please do not be angry with me. Unfortunately I had no opportunity to write to you sooner. Please forgive me for a delay. I hope you are not offended. I hope you will write me and will not hold evil. I am very glad that you have answered my letter. Thank you that you have found time for answer. I do not know what to write to you in my first letter because I never wrote letters and did not get acquainted on the Internet before. But I think will be correct if I will start to tell about me from the very beginning because I was first, who has written first letter. I really do not know as far as my life is interesting to you, but I think, if something will be not interestingly for you, you will tell me about it. Probably I should begin my letter with the most important thing as I have not told to you about it in my first message to you. Probably you will be very much afflicted when you find out that I live not in your state(country). But I very much hope that it does not frighten you, because I the same lady like many other ladies living in the different countries. I the same person with heart and soul. And if your interest is not limited by distance or borders, I really will be very glad. My country is Russia. Our country is located on continent named Eurasia. Russia is very big state(country) and occupies very big area. Capital of Russia is Moscow. I was born and I live now in village(little town) Engels. In Russia the village is a small settlement in which just a few thousand, or a few hundreds inhabitants. My village is village of town type. We have the same houses as in large Russian cities. But in comparison with the big cities, our village is considered as very small village of course. Probably if you want to have the best representation about where I live, I should tell to you that my village is located close to the big city named Saratov. It's our regional center. Very big city. Saratov is located on distance of 850 kilometers from Moscow. In the childhood I dreamed to be a ballerina or figure skater. But at conscious age my interests have changed. When I has appeared before a choice - where to receive higher education, I have understood that I want to be a economist(bookkeeper). I always showed big interest to knowledge of this area. On this, at that time I already knew absolutely exact that I will be bookkeeper, and I do not regret about my choice. My education consist of three steps. School - College - University. I began to get education in the comprehensive school. After I finished it I entered the college. I finished it with excellent results and entered the University. At this time I work in small building company. I work as a bookkeeper. Very interesting work though many my girlfriends disagree with me. I already spoke you that my name is Elena. But in Russia actually each name has some forms, for example such as - the reduced form or the diminutive-caressing form or pet name. On this also my names is - Lena. Rafe I promised to share with you my picture, I fulfil my promise with worry and with pleasure. In addition to a picture I want to tell that I am blonde. My height is 5 feet 6 inches. My weight is 115 pounds. And of course you should know that I am 28 years old. My birthday - on March, 21, 1976. I understand that all people have various tastes and interests, but I sincerely hope that my picture and my appearance will be pleasant for you. But if my appearance doesn't conform to your tastes and interests, I will understand you, of course. I the optimist at heart and it's frequently helps me in my life. I already adult woman, and I look at a life with a philosophical shade. But as though I did not try to inspire myself that I absolutely happy woman, I cannot do it. I have good friends, I have work and an apartment. But there are things without which people cannot be happy. And for me it's not material things, but spiritual. I have written to you the first and it means that I am ready to share with you my thoughts. I am very glad and grateful to you for that that you have answered me because I have decided to take only one chance in dialogue through e-mail. And if my letter to you would remain without your answer, I think I would not use this way second time. Anyhow, I hope that you, as well as I, have interest in our dialogue, and I will wait your answer. In the end of my letter I want to ask you the most banal questions. I want to ask you what music you like, what movies you prefer and have-whether favourite movie. These questions are really interesting for me because I like American movies and American music very much. I with pleasure will tell to you about it in my next letter if you really want to learn more about me. Do you like your job, Rafe? Have you ever had experience in correspondence with a friend from other country? Maybe you more skilled in this plan than I'm? I thank you for your answers beforehand. If you do not want to answer these questions, please do not answer. It simply my female curiosity. I am sorry once again that I did not answer your letter for a long time. Forgive me, but I had no opportunity to take advantage of a computer. I will explain to you later - why. With the best regards. Elena. P.S I have chestnut hair in a picture. I have changed color of hair recently. Actually I the blonde. I change color of hair sometimes.

Date: 8/27/2004 10:58:07 AM
Hi Rafe! I'm Elena from webdate. I have sent you the letter. But has not received the answer. Probably it has not reached you. Write to me. I shall wait the answer. Elena

Date: 8/30/2004 10:44:59 AM
Hi Rafe! This is again Elena! How your day was? I hope you are glad to receive my letter because when I have received your letter I really was delighted. Many thanks. I hadn't time to tell about it in my last letter. I write to you letters on my job because I have no a personal computer. The computer is in an accounting department. Lady who works with a computer will sometimes allow me to use a computer in my interests, but only when this lady has a free time. It depends not on me unfortunately. I work five days in a week - from Monday till Friday. It is the standard established in Russia. Therefore I will be not capable to write to you and to receive your letters on Saturday and on Sunday. But sometimes I work on Saturday and even on Sunday. It is called maintenance standby. On this maybe I will can write to you letters even on Saturday or on Sunday. Maybe. Do you want to know how I will write to you my letters? I write to you letters during all my working day by small parts - in those short time intervals when the computer will not be occupied. And something else. I have been warned that our computer has dependent system of sending of mail. My letters will be sent only after service mail which is sent two times in day - at midday and after finish of the working day. Probable, my letter will be sent automatically after finish of the working day. Working day in our company comes to an end at 22.00, but my working day comes to an end at 17.00. Oh! I promised you to tell what music I like. Now I have some free minutes and with pleasure will spend this time to tell to you about my interests. I like various music. All depends on mood. I like to listen classical music. I like Dunaevski And Chajkovsky. I like to listen simply instrumental music. Such music allows to relax and have a rest. With such music I like to reflect. I like to listen to guitar masterpieces of Joe Satriani. I very much like group Dire Straits. I like Pink Floyd. They are not similar to anybody. It is great group. I like Madonna, Robbie Williams and George Michael and many others. In America many great musicians. I like many Russian musicians. For example Philip Kirkorov, Valeria or groups: Chaif, Splin. But you probably do not know them. I very much like cinema. In Russia create few good movies. I like works of such directors as Tarkovsky, Konchalovsky, Mikhalkov. My favourite movies - Siberian Barber and Tired by the Sun. It's masterpieces of the Russian cinema. The American movies in Russia use huge popularity. The American movies is considered the greatest. I very much like the American movies and I like many American actors. I like movies such as The Sixth Sense, the Rainman, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Gone with the Wind, Magnificent Seven, the Godfather, Groundhog day, The Scent of a Woman. My favourite actors are Russel Crow, Mel Gibson Bruce Willis, Al Pacino, Kevin Costner, Samuel L. Jackson, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Demi Moore, Kevin Spacey. My hobby is the English language(if it's possible to tell so). I have loved English long ago, when I studied at school. In Russia the program of training necessarily includes foreign language, as a rule - English, German or French. I have entered in group of the English language and I am happy that I made it. I very much like your language. After school, I continued studying of English language at the university. I like this language. It is a very soft and easily-memorized language. I learn the English language easily. At present I attend courses of the English language. I study your language within 17 years. I want to know this language perfectly. I know that now I admit mistakes, but I hope you won't angry. What else to tell about me? I never was married and I haven't children. I am lonely and the reason of my loneliness not only in me. However, I do not know if it interestingly for you. I live honestly, and it brings pleasure to me. I am optimist and I like to smile, because a smile - mirror of soul. For happiness is not required many things. Likely the main thing that does not suffice me now is love. People without love cannot be happy. But when near there is a close person whom you love, life becomes fine irrespective of where you live and what you have. But the loneliness fills a life with sadness. But I do not want to speak about sadness anymore. I am glad that I have an opportunity to write to you and I am glad that you write to me. And at present it really causes a smile on my face. Do you have the big family? I should finish my letter. Thank you for a beautiful picture. I loved it. I hope to receive your letter soon. Sincerely and with the best regards. This picture is made in the winter near my house. Elena.

Date: 9/2/2004 11:33:39 AM
Hi Rafe! I am frankly glad that again I have a possibility to write you. Today I saw my mother in my dream and thought that I have to tell you about my mother, because when I say about her - I tell about my family. It is really so because I have never seen my grandfather and grandmother and I don't have brothers or sisters. I was the only one child in the family, and my family consisted of two people - my mother and I. I really feel great proud when I say about my mother because she was a very good woman. But together with this, every time the recollections about my mother cause tears and I can't keep them. My mother died when I was 16 years old. Three years before her death my mom has damage in road accident. She was standing in the street and she was knocked down by a car. Probably the driver was strongly drunk, because the witnesses said that the car moved by zigzag and suddenly appeared on pavement. As a result of collision my mum was paralysed. She spent three years in the wheelchair. I looked after her did all that was in my forces to make a life for which she was fated since this moment - easy and joyful. I spent little time with my friends and practically all my free time I spent near my mother. I was crazy happy when mother smiled, because she smiled very seldom. She was ashamed of her helplessness. Every time when I was going home after school I looked at the window and every time my mother met me. She was looking through the window and smiled. It happens always. She met me every day and never forgot. That's why I felt alarm at once when 9 years ago I looked at the window and didn't see my mother there. I understood that something is wrong. I rushed home with tears in my eyes. When I oped the door I understood that I stayed alone. As usual my mother was sitting in her chair. But she was dead. I remember how I stretched my arm and touched her pulse. It got dark in my eyes and my feet didn't obey me. I couldn't stand. I thought I would go mad. I have felt that I lose consciousness and lain on the floor. I sobbed and couldn't quiet down. I couldn't imagine that I will live without mom. This was the person I lived for. All I did in my live I did for her. She was such a good mother. She taught me everything I can do in this life. My mother dreamt to bring me up as an honest and decent lady. I was the only child and mother gave me endless love. And I tried to do all to be worthy daughter, to be worthy her love. And I hope that I became such a lady as my mother wanted to see me. Now I appreciate the difficulties of that time in a different way. Difficulties train the character. I lived without help and support, I went through different difficulties about which I don't want to speak. But I have gone through these difficulties and remember this I feel that everything I have done correctly. My mother always told me that one should look at difficulties with smile not mentioning that there is a shout of despair in the throat and there are tears in eyes. One should be strong and proud - as my mother was. Forgive me that I have told you about this so in detail. But I say about my mother seldom. But when I say about her I can't do it in couple words. I loved her very much and that's why I told you little things about her. Forgive me. I decided to share my recollections with you as with a friend, because I didn't speak about her with anybody for a long time. Forgive me that my letter is a sad, big and uninteresting. Simply when I begin to say about my mother I can't stop. But I promise not to write such sad letters anymore. I have to finish. Sincerely with best regards. Elena.

Date: 9/3/2004 10:14:28 AM
Hi, Rafe (English) Privet, Rafe (Russian) Today I had so much work that I was afraid that I wouldn't have time to get your letter. And I have to say that this frightened me. But now I have found free time and very glad. Thank you for your kind letter. My last letter was sad. That's why today I will try not to write about sad things. Then now I am smiling and have a good mood. As a matter of fact today all the colleagues have a good mood because today we found out that On Wednesday The Moscow Zoo would come to Saratov for touring. This is a great news because The Moscow Zoo Is the biggest zoo in the country. So everybody discuss only this news. Everybody wants to visit the ZOO because the tour will last only for several days. I like animals very much and I have never seen Moscow Zoo. I like horses very much and think that these are the most beautiful animals in the planet. As matter of fact I have always dreamt to have some pets - a cat or a dog. But when I think that a little puppy will wait for me at home alone I feel pity. That's why I don't have pets. I always wait for weekends with impatience, because I get tired mentally and physically at the work. That's why weekends are the only possibility for me to rest and to get new forces. Weekends I spend differently. Sometimes I want simply to rest in my apartment. I like my apartment - little and cosy. On weekends I always clean the apartment properly. I like purity. And though I always try to keep my apartment clean, there is always something to do about the house on weekends. But when I want really to relax I listen to music or read books. I like to read books especially historical novels about ancient Russia or other countries. I like to spend time in nature in the open air very much. The camping is very popular in Russia. I adore to go to the forest and to live in a tent though now I have seldom such an opportunity. I like to look at night fire. I like to look at the stars very much. In August the sky is strewed with stars. It is incredible beautiful. I like to cook on the fire. There is no more wonderful when in the air the fragrances of forest, river and smoke mix together. I am romantic undoubtedly. I really like cooking. I know that I do it well, because I started cooking from childhood. My mother taught me many things including cooking. She said: "Lady who can cook well don't have disadvantages and demerits, because tasty food is a way to the man's heart. May be she is right. I like Russian dishes and my favourite dish is hodgepodge ( in Russian we call it okroshka). I am not sure if you know such dish. This is a Russian national dish. What dishes do you prefer Rafe? I have to finish. I hope my letter was not stodgy and uninteresting. I will wait for your letter with impatience. I wish you peace and kindness. Elena. P.S This picture was made by my girlfriend Victoria. She the Photographer.

Date: 9/8/2004 12:30:04 PM
Hi, my dear friend Rafe! I hope you not against if I say so. Thank you for your letter. From day to day I feel more necessity to get your letter. My mood has become better again when I have got your letter. By the way, when I came to work today my mood was bad, because my girl-friend fell ill and now she is in the hospital. The saddest thing is that she has birthday today. She is 26 years old today. Unfortunately she will spend her birthday in the hospital. But have already talked with the doctor and I will be allowed to spend the evening in the her chamber. In the evening I will bake a cake, buy balloons and go to the hospital. I want very much that she have good mood on her birthday. This my best friend.I have only one real girlfriend - Victoria. Victoria is that lady who is in the hospital. We are friends for 20 years already. Victoria and I are like sisters.Victoria and I like to walk. Usually we walk in the park. But also we like to spend time in Victoria vegetable garden. She lives in an old wooden house. I don't know if you have seen such houses. This are the houses which were built before the second world war, in the fortieth years. These are very old houses which don't have bath and running water. So people have to take water outside in the well or in a pit. In modern world such conditions seem very terrible, but this is really so. We like to spend time in Victoria vegetable garden. There she grows potato, tomatos and cucumbers not to buy them in the market, because in winter the prices of these products rise very high. Every winter Victoria and I make a big Snowman by big snow balls. We make a carrot instead of nose and potatos instead of eyes. It is very funny. All neighbor's children come to see it. First time we made such a Snowman 16 years ago. Since that time we do every year. This is a tradition for us. We pour it with water to cover with ice. So it stands for the whole winter. I like Engels. Many people in our village know each other. We have little buildings - maximum 4 floors. Victoria says that she wants to live in a big city. I don't know where it is better. Big city is a big traffic, fast rhythm of life, garlands of fires, lightning shop windows, high buildings, fountains, cinemas, parks, attractions, theatres. It is wonderful, of course I like it. But our village is a fresh air, a lot of trees and birds, silent and comfort no hubris and vanity inherent for big cities. We have a lot of small and large lakes and rivers. The places are very beautiful. If there were no criminal the place could be considered as a paradise. But alas, the criminal in small cities, as well as in the big cities is an integral part our life. Unfortunately criminal in Russia is situated on a very high level. But I don't want to tell about sad things. Did I tell you that I can play guitar? I like to play guitar and to sing songs. One famous musician said that a woman with a guitar looks as absurdly as a woman with a paddle. But I don't agree with him. Several times Victoria and I went to the festival of bard song. This is a place on the coast of the river where a lot of people come from all the country. At night the coast is covered by thousand lights from fires. Huge raft having the form of a guitar is established right on water and everybody who desires sing songs together with famous bard singers. This is a unique festival. I have to finish my letter. I don't want but I have to. Today when I will come to Victoria to hospital, we will speak about you. She likes to ask about you and I like to tell her. I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Rafe? In a picture I and my girlfriend Victoria. Sincerely yours and with best wishes. Elena.

Hi Rafe! The day is wonderful today and the weather is good. The sun is shining all the day. To add to all this I have got your letter and my happiness doesn't have limits. And what about your weather? May be today after work I will go home by foot. I like to walk along the street and to breath fresh air, especially when the weather is warm. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. It is very boring and lonely at home. Sometimes I don't mention it, but sometimes when I come home with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun. But my apartment is empty and I have to be in full solitude. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down in an arm-chair and look at the window. And when the silence deafen me when I hear as My blood flows in my veins, I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment becomes unbearably and my heart compresses. I don't know how to struggle with it. I can listen to music or read a book. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to speak about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But enough about it. Victoria has received a pneumonia You say I did not answer some your questions. Forgive me if it so, but I always try to answer all your questions. Maybe I wanted to answer, but have overlooked, because I write letters during all day by small parts when I receive free minute. Maybe on this I overlook to answer some your questions, especially when I start to tell about myself. But I always try to answer your questions. Probably I send some my letters to you before I will receive your next letter with questions. We outstrip you in time. As a rule I receive your letters in the morning. If you have sent your letter and it has come in the afternoon or in the evening on our time, I can receive this letter only in next day. Maybe I choose manner not so accessible to you, maybe my words are ambiguous, but anyhow I never leave your questions without comments. I often remember childhood. I always dreamed to become a grown up as soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we can't to sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for long. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Practically dreams do not always realize. It happens that you use all power, all aspiration to make the dream come true. But as much you try, not all in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, as though you did not try, dream ceases to be that star, which was for you lighthouse in ocean of the life, which illuminated your way. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreames and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. The dreams are those things that do us people that distinguishes us from the whole rest alive world. The dreams contribute variety in ordinary and grey life. The dreams force to think, analyse, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope - an eternal satellites of our lifes. And regardless of what waits you at the end, joy of the victories and subordinated tops we remember better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. You agree with me?I am surprised that I write you all this. I have never had a person, with whom I could share my thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said something superfluous forgive me please. Do you like when your friends come to your home? I will wait for your letter with impatience. Elena.

Date: 9/10/2004 11:14:11 AM
Hi my friend, Rafe!!!! I am very glad that you have written. Many thanks. You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile on my face. I have received your pictures. I wrote to you that have received them. In okroshka contains vegetables and meat. Filledly all this a drink kvass. It like cold soup. A zoo it there was a big entertainment. By the way Rafe, today I went to job being absolutely confident that you write to me today. Earlier I always went with an thought that you probably yet have not written, but today for the first time I went with an thought that your letter waits for me already. I went on the street and I smiled. I could not hide my smile. People which passed near to me looked back on me. Ladies in Russia smile rarely, because life is filled with different problems, cares, difficulties and obstacles. All this prevails over little fortunes which the lady has in her life. In Russia the lady stands on the same stair as the man already for a long time. She can do the same work as the man can. Very often In Russia the lady does the man's work - the heavy physical work. In the 19th century one Russian poet wrote about Russian woman: "Russian woman can enter in the burning house and she can stop frightened horse running towards her". The only thing she lacks is simple warm and caress, which she wants to receive from a man. This is the problem of Russian men. The Russian lady does everything for the man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a couple of tender words and gentle touching of his hands. Is it really so difficult? Is it really difficult to present your lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady for a man, but not a man for lady. When a woman carry heavy bags in the street no man will help her, he will only turn his look away and go farther. That's why the Russian lady never feels happy at her heart. You say that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered like a beautiful lady. Russian men, practically all of them, usually treat to ladies disrespectfully. They consider that woman only have to work, to cook, to wash cloths and entertain the man when he wants. For the Russian man it is a usual thing to offend a woman. I like to cook and to wash cloths but sometimes I would like to receive simple caress, love and attention. I don't want to offend all the men. Of course there are good men in Russia, but there are few of them. Men frequently speak dirty words (not normative lexicon) when speak with lady and consider that in it there is nothing bad. I had boyfriend. We had good time together. He was kind. But he liked to drink. When he got drunk he became an absolutely other person. He talked with me with bad and dirty words. The time passed and his love to alcohol became a habit. He became another person - rude and evil. Has taken a great interest in beating me, frequently struck and knocked me by hands and the next day he smiled and talked with me as if nothing had happened. I began to be afraid of him and and I have left him. My soul was wounded very much. After this I couldn't make myself get acquainted with another man. Now I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love but get in lieu thereof the roughness. If you have disagreements with lady, you can apply roughness? Do you capable to transform quarrel into the peace, pleasure and a smile? Your. Elena

Date: 9/13/2004 11:40:35 AM
Hi, my far, but dear friend Rafe. Many thanks for your letter. It was the long-awaited letter. I am really madly glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have found you. I should tell to you that I have ocean of emotions and sensations which I had no in my heart before. And on this, my reason and my heart say me that I should answer by sincerity your constant sincerity. My heart and my reason says me that I should tell what I feel now because it is a part of our friendship and I should share it with you.I didn't want to offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something wrong may do that. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I am right now, but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of you. I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship halfway across the world), and I might have much to learn about how to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to succeed if that is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be the best friends possible, which trust and share with each other everything that they feel. I do not know if my word and thoughts make sense to you, and I try very hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials to prepare me for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life loving, to better appreciate him, respect him and cherish the love, that he would give; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I very much desire that you find it in your heart and are comfortable with sharing your personal feelings with me, I wish to know you on a more intimate level, I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level that goes way beyond mere friendship. Please do not think me foolish for thinking these things, I believe that in order for anything to succeed, you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what it would be like, the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams do come true for people which dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in them hard enough, dreams could become in reality. I guess that you are shocked that I feel this way, but here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you. Rafe, when I speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else thinks. I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean, I find that you are not only attractive as a man, I also speak of the beauty that is within you, beauty of your internal world, and alas, this particular type of beauty is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty is. This, is that for me is the most important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my consciousness. Your words spoken to me with so much kindness and care, they express the beauty within you. I think that you are truly handsome, the essence of what beauty should be, and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would compel to change my mind even a little bit. I want to reduce essence of all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple friendship. It is that way which I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in good health and spirits, and I hope that every yours wish you have comes true one day. I will look forward to your reply as always with anticipation and impatience.... With tenderness, Elena.

Date: 9/15/2004 10:03:57 AM
Hi my Rafe! How your mood? Any your mood today I want to try to make even better. This morning I didn't go to my job, because this morning I flew to my job. Today I came to my job beforehand. And I was first who came to the office. And I was happy all the day. My colleagues were surprised. They have asked me why I'm so happy. And I have simply answered that I have good mood. I have understood long ago but was afraid to admit to itself, that I have found to you feeling which did not feel before. I want to understand what in my heart. I want to feel your breath. I don't know, what's happened with me. Likely I can be named strange lady, but I have grown fond of your soul and heart. The rest is not important for me. For me the material world is not important. Only the world of calmness, fidelity and pure heart. It didn't happen to me before. The weather is sunny today. The sun brings joy. I'm glad that I have friend Rafe, and Rafe has me, Elena. Tell me about your thoughts and dreams. I want to know all about you. Absolutely all! BUT! Yesterday my boss informed me that I will have a vacation approximately in 2 or 3 weeks. Last night I thought of us. About you and about me. About us together. I couldn't fall asleep.I thought what I can do to see you. I decided to spend this vacation with you. I thought what can I do to meet you. Simply to meet. It's all that I want now. I have a passport, but I don't a visa to your country. Today I have addressed visas agency. I wondered how much it will cost for me to make American visa. They told me that consideration of the application on reception of the visa costs 100 dollars. This sum does not come back even in that case if my application will not be approved. And for getting a visa is necessary to go to Moscow where there is an American consulate. They have told that I will must visit set of various departments, state and medical institutions both in Saratov, and in Moscow. It is necessary to wait for a long time the queue. It is a usual way of getting a visa and procedure of reception can be delayed for some weeks or even months. Besides if my application will not be approved, it will turn out that I squander money all for nothing. I said I can't wait so long. To me have told that is possible to avoid set of problems and to make all in faster terms if to use full package of service. Full package of service includes additional payments for a category of the visa, consular services, preparation for Interview with commission, interview. The full package of service costs 335 dollars, but the visas agency remove all problems and thus increases the chance of getting a visa without excessive delays. I asked how long time it will take to get a visa If to use a full package of service. They have answered that it will take about one week. Maybe 2 weeks if there will be some troubles. I have told that this variant satisfies me and I agree. I have asked, whether there will be troubles with visa, because there were the terrible terrorist actions in USA and the conflict with Iraq. I was answered that they will request information about me in the police. And if in the police they will be answered that I the law-abiding citizen, I will get the visa. I have never outraged the law. And I have never done anything unlawful. I will have preparation for interview. It will help me to receive the visa. And I really have registered the visa application with great belief and with great hope that you will be glad to meet me, with belief and with hope that you want to meet me. I really want to give you a gift - our meeting though I am not sure if you really want to meet me. Can you imagine that if everything will be well, in two weeks we can meet? If it would happen, would be it as a gift for you? Would be you happy if we could spend some days together? I understand that our relations are not long yet. Many years I ask myself one question: "Why everything depends on money?" I think that the money is not main thing in life. The main is when the people can and want to understand each other. I have a wild desire to meet you, to embrace you. I have some savings. I do not want to cause you a monetary outlay. I will make all myself. I know that you did not expect that I will tell all this. But it is possible to wait eternally. But in fact nobody knows that waits for us tomorrow. Maybe such opportunity will not be presented any more. I have opened to you my heart and soul. I speak what I feel. I am not confused by my feelings. I speak straight and openly. The loneliness has made me courageous. You can think that I hurry events. But I have found new feeling which never had. I am happy right now. I seem I has found what searched for long time. In Russia speak: "under a lying stone the water doesn't flow ". It mean that it is necessary to do a step onward to achieve something. I am afraid to lose an opportunity to communicate with you because I cannot eternally use office computer. But I will receive soon a vacation. During all my life I spent my vacation in my village. But now I can spend my vacation with my friend, with you! It is big happiness. I should use this opportunity. In my heart never was such confidence and feeling. And I am afraid to lose it. May be I hurry events, but I am afraid that all will be terminated, and then I will go mad. You my dear friend, and friends meet sometimes. I shall receive a vacation, it's my vacation and I want to spend it with my dear friend. I think it will be wonderful. I apologize, if have offended you. I hope, that you do not regard my words as impudence. I simply want to meet and spend some happy days with you. What will be after, I do not know. But all people meet. The distance does not frighten me. But without a meeting there can not be a continuation. I hope, that your feelings to me have not changed after that. But I want to see you to slightly becalm my tormented heart. Tell me please, can you meet me? Tell me please, you will be glad to meet me? You will be glad if I will arrive to you? I believe and I hope that I have not angered and have not offended you. I believe and I hope that you have feelings to me. I believe and I hope that you want to meet me. It can be outlined in advance by destiny. I sincerely hope that my letter has brought pleasure to you. And I sincerely hope that you want to meet me to spend some time together. And I sincerely hope that you would be happy to meet me. Would you be happy? Much tenderness from Elena!!!

Date: 9/17/2004 8:32:11 AM
Hi my soul Rafe! I with trembling heart waited your letter. Thank you for told all what you think. Thanks for your letter. You have written to me and it means that one more day I will be lived with good mood. I want to describe to you my day completely, since morning and till the night. At 6:30 rattle my alarm clock. I do not love my alarm clock. Because it so loudly rattle, that each time I jump as scalded. I rise with good mood because in dream I saw you. At 6:35 I go to a bathroom And I THINK OF YOU! I wash and I clean a teeth. At 6:45 I dress my sports suit, I go on street And I THINK OF YOU! I jog. I run in the mornings always when it is not cold to support myself in the good form. When in the street coldly, I sleep till 7:00. At 7:20 I cook a breakfast, as a rule strong tea or coffee and a sandwich. I drink tea and I THINK OF YOU! At 7:30 I go to work. Usually, if weather good, I go on foot And I THINK OF YOU! I like to go on foot since morning. Air clean and fresh. To job I come vigorous and cheerful. At 7:55 I go to a cabinet where works my girlfriend . As a rule she already on work at this time. If there is an opportunity I receive your letter. If the opportunity is not present I receive it later. At 8:00 I start to work And I THINK OF YOU! At 10:00 I go on street and I THINK OF YOU! I breathe fresh air of 10 minutes and come back to work. At 12:30 a dining break. I go home for a dinner And I THINK OF YOU! I reach up to a house by a bus. At 13:00 I eat and at 13:10 I go again for work And I THINK OF YOU! I go by a bus but I abandon a bus earlier, than it is necessary, to again take a walk on fresh air And TO THINK OF YOU! At 13:30 I again work And I THINK OF YOU! (though in my work is impossible be distracted and think about something another except for work)(smile) At 15:30 we with my employees do a small break and we drink tea for have a rest. I was not capable to drink tea because I THINK OF YOU! During the working day when there is an opportunity I answer your letter. At 17:00 I go home. I go on foot, slowly. I feel itself perfectly because I THINK OF YOU! At 17:40 I take a shower and I imagine that YOU WITH ME! (Smile) At 18:00 I have supper, alone, but I smile, because I imagine that YOU SIT OPPOSITE TO ME! At 19:00 I go for walk (but it happens seldom).I THINK OF YOU! If I do not go for walk, I listen to music, I read the book, I watch TV, I knit, I make various homework And I THINK OF YOU! (of course not all simultaneously)(smile). At 23:00 I lie down to sleep. Usually I fall asleep very quickly because I THINK OF YOU! Only do not think that all my days pass so. It is an approximate variant. Every day passes on miscellaneous. But is that peculiar to each my day: IT'S MY THOUGHTS OF YOU!!! Your and only your Elena.

Date: 9/20/2004 11:08:42 AM
Hi my dear Rafe! Today fine day. But only for one reason - I have received your letter. And all the rest become unimportant for me. Today I really have no opportunity to write much. Please forgive me. But I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and waited when the opportunity to write to you will appear. But I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again. In the street already was sunlight. I sat near a window and began to look at street. Unexpectedly the small birdie sat down on a window and began to sing. She so beautifully sang. She looked at me and sang. The birdie at all was not afraid of me. I looked at this birdie and thought that you now somewhere there, far. I have thought that maybe you sleep and see me in your dream. And I have thought, if I was a birdie, I too would sit down to you on a window and began to sing my song. I have told to a birdie: " Fly off, my small birdie, and sing this song to my far but close friend Rafe. Tell him that I think of him". And in this moment the the birdie flinch and fly off , as though she has heard my words. And I have thought, maybe this birdie really will fly to you and will sing her beautiful song. So if you Rafe will see near to yourself a small birdie which beautifully sings, know that I have sent this song to you. Forgive, but I should go. I want to send you my kiss if you do not object. Your Elena.

Date: 9/21/2004 9:36:20 AM
Hi my Rafe! Thanks for your letter. My heart calms down when I receive your letter. My pictures are done by my girlfriend Victoria. I seriously want to visit you. Today I speculate about you and about me. It so is surprising. As a matter of fact we live on the different sides of our planet, but we so are similar. I never was even outside of my country. To travel outside the seas and oceans for me in general outside a reality. I cannot imagine it as though I not tried. And always, as likely many people Never seeing anything except for native house, I console myself by thought, that you have the same blue sky and the same life. Maybe life behind ocean is more cheerful and rich, paints are brighter and the summer is warmer. But also as here, people cry when they feel a pain, people suffer when lose close people, women in torments give birth to children. It is identical everywhere. You and I have the same cares and problems. Every day I try to imagine that occurs in your heart, do you worry or not, do you think of me or not, do you imagine us or not. I look in a window, there, where the sky and the ground merge in a single whole. I try to be lost in this imagined world, I try to weaken my sight, that all what I see became indistinct, dim. And then your image has emerged before my eyes. And I already see how you go along the street though I absolutely have no idea what your street look like. But I see you, I see as you smile, as at cinema in the slowed down action you come nearer to me, and your image becomes more and more precise. You speak something but I do not hear you. But I read on your lips, and my heart with fatal delight understands what you speak me. And these your words burn me from within. During the some moment I so sink in this world of illusions that I cease to understand where a reality. But the next second all breaks off and again before my eyes the grey sky, the white ground and people which at all do not suspect what occurs in my heart. Write what airport near to you. Your Elena.

Date: 9/22/2004 9:42:22 AM
Hi my love Rafe! My working day has comes to an end and I am writing you now. My mood is very good. Soon we will be together. Tell me that this is true. Now I have the most intense days in my life. I shall make the visa for the sake of you. It will be my gift for you Rafe.. Ok? As a rule from 10 applicants only by one received the visa. I have paid big enough sum of money to not stand in long queue and to not wait for consideration during several months. I never thought that the commission will ask such unusual questions. Me asked about my sexual life, me asked about children, about work, about patriotism, about the attitude to America, about my conversance and awareness of events which happened in the world and in America, about my religion and belief. I have told about all my life in detail. I spoke about everything fairly as is really. To me have told that my answers are unexpected and as a rule applicants do not answer so directly and openly such questions. They have not got used to hear such answers, but they have told what to hear fair and truthful answers it is much more pleasant than word which come not from heart and reason. I have given characteristics from work. I have told the commissions directly and openly, that I dreamed to see your country, but I am sure that everything dream of it, even those who speaks that does not dream. They have been surprised, because nobody spoke so openly. I have shown them all my documents testifying that I all my life lived without the father and mothers. What bad in that that I once will visit other country, once to receive really big pleasure in a life? They did not expect that I will tell such words. But I really spoke in all sincerity. I simply wanted that they have understood what in my heart. And as you can believe I could convince them.What my intentions? I simply want to meet you, It does not oblige to something. It only will help us to learn more each other. I simply want to spend my vacation with you, and for some happy days with you I am ready to give much. But the meeting cannot spoil our relations. On the contrary. I want to be your visitor some happy days. I think that you also will be happy as I. All people meet. But there is no such law what to meet is possible only after you know about the person all. On the contrary, as far as it is interesting to learn about the each other being face to face. It is much more essential than letters. You will see my eyes, I will see yours. You will touch my hand, I will touch yours. We will talk and laugh, whisper each other on an ear pleasant words, we will tell about thoughts and feelings, we will dream together and enjoy joint pastime. It so miraculous. It is such big chance to learn more about the each other. It simply a meeting of two very much close friends but as far as pleasant and long-awaited this meeting, you only think. Now I wait for the messenger and it a to me will tell, that my visa is ready. I think that you are a honest, understanding and kind person. From my life I have understood, understanding and respect the most important in Relations between the man and the woman. It so is important for understanding and respecting not only The opinion, and even opinion of other person. I studied psychology, and the main mistake Married couples is that everyone proves the correctness and does not want to recede from The opinion. Each person can be mistaken. In most cases because of Such trifles there are quarrels and scandals. In fact it is much more convenient to discuss a problem in To quiet conditions and together to find the best exit. We in Russia have saying One head well, and two is better (smile). I am right? Still I very much appreciate a true friendship. When I shall come you should acquaint me with yours Friends. I do not want to stand across you and your friends. The man should have The right to communicate only the man's company, without women. But not all time (smile). Friends should so to meet, drink in a bar beer and messages man's conversations. I will love you in the future and I love you now. I am waiting for the moment of our meeting very much. It so excites me. Yesterday when I went to bed I was thinking about you so much that I felt a little trembling in my body. I don't know why it happened to me but anyway it is something good. I am finishing writing. I am thinking of you and writing you these words. These words are coming from my heart. My heart is beating faster now because of you. I reread all your letters and love you more and more. I love you very much, I need you very much and I hope that our meeting will be very very soon. I will write you later. I am still waiting for you letters!!! I hope very much that our love is forever!!!!!!!!!!!!! The love of Elena and Rafe is eternal !!!!!!!!!!!!!! With all my love, Hot and passionate kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss for you. Elena!

Date: 9/24/2004 10:51:30 AM
Hi my love Rafe! How are you today? I'm fine and dream a lot of our meeting. When my dreams comes true? I don't know but I hope it will be soon, do you know how beautiful when dreams come true, did you have it already? I think that if the human want something and do all for it, it will achieve the purpose beacuse if do nothing, nothing will be. I very happy because I found you in my life, I'll do all for our meeting, I want it all my heart. Did you ever think about connection of souls? I don't know but I feel that we approach each other very much. I love you Rafe please write me soon, I'll wait for your email. I have written to you a verse. Bright, eyes like heaven's stars, Lips so full I need to know - when will be he mine for all of time? His name is Rafe He is my Prince I shall take him to the ball to dance in front of all. Midnight will come though he will not run. He will be mine to the end of time. I've prayed so long for one as this. With him beside me we will have bliss. Elena. P.S This picture is made on the river Volga. In a picture my familiar girl Marina.

Date: 9/27/2004 10:13:24 AM
Hi my prince from a fairy tale! Hi my king from a real life! Hi my Rafe! I now always cheerful because I think of you. The thought about you warm me. Leaving past sorrows behind, we will awaken in our dream together. A new beginning, a new world, with limitless possibilities. All things we thought were valuable are meaningless now. For in our love, we have found the treasures of the heart and soul. Our ways and means that had guided us well, no longer serve two hearts that are now one. We will be as innocent children, needing to taste, touch, and smell all these new things. And as adolescents, we shall taste the fruits of the flesh as if for the first time, like Adam and Eve once felt in the Garden of Eden. It will be a paradise we have never known before. With gentle caress', and kissing of lips, our passions will grow. Our hearts will beat faster, and the heat of our bodies will cause sweat to flow. And when time stands still, we will unite mind, body, and soul. In the darkness, calm and still, we will hold each other tight, and our hearts will beat as one. It is then we will truly know, that we have finally found each other, and our love will forever grow. I should tell to you what happened today at night. Today there was an awful night. At night when I already slept, I have heard some squeak. Someone tried to open my door. I have heard that someone tries to open the lock in my door. I very much was frightened. I did not know what to do. I have risen, but could not pronounce any word. I very much was frightened and afraid to approach to a door. Legs did not obey me. Me as though has paralysed. Then this sound has disappeared, but the one who was behind a door apparently began to try to break a door. The tree crackled and crunched. I have begun to cry and did not know what to do. I always counted myself courageous, but during that moment I have become puzzled. The door already has almost opened, because the door-jamb has already broken. But then suddenly all has stopped. Probably he was frightened off by someone. I sat on a bed and have been very much frightened. I have included light. I knew that if someone will want to penetrate into my apartment, I cannot call somebody to the aid at all because I at all have no phone. A door in my apartment very old and not strong. In our city very much frequently plunder apartments. And not only when owners are not present a house but also when an at home somebody is. It is enough to open a door. Plunder in masks. It do the young guys, which 16 - 18 years old. A bulk from them - addicts. They at all do not choose is it rich apartment or not. Take away everything, that it is possible to sell. Even old things. They have special metal mounts which insert between a door and a jamb and break a door. By radio constantly warn, that people did not open a door not to familiar people. I very much was frightened. My heart beat with mad speed. You do not represent, as it is terrible to live, when anybody beside is not present and nobody can protect. I have felt completely defenceless. I thought of you. Thought, that you now there, far, and at all do not know, how to me it is terrible now. I lain in a bed with included light and thought of you. I could not fall asleep more this night. It was bad night. But now everything is all right. Tomorrow I shall make the order for an iron door. I shall finish my letter. I need you and I dream to be with you Rafe. I send you all my tenderness and love. Kiss you 1000 times. Your Elena.

Date: 9/28/2004 9:16:36 AM
Today I have the remarkable mood. I think about our meeting and I'm happy. I want to tell you that I was wait this moment all my life and I thank the destiny that I find you Rafe. I trust you and love you I'm sure that it's not mistake and you are the All for me in this world! Please tell me my importance for you, I want to know all what you think and feel. I want to be the part of you. I want that we will be together always. Whe we will meet we will speak about many things. I so want it soon, I want to see your face, to see your eyes, to hear your voice. I want to take your hand and feel your love. There are many good things in this world but the best thing is love, I found it and I don't want to lose it, I'll do all for our love Rafe. We will meet soon . I do all for our meeting because I LOVE YOU !!!!! Elenaю

Вate: 9/30/2004 6:30:41 AM
Today's my letter contains two news. The first news: My visa at last is ready, and I send you its scan. When I've got my visa, they have told me, that I am very lucky woman and that it is very big success, that I got my visa so quickly. Also they have told that I'm very successful and lucky lady. I was so glad. But now I have no any pleasure. Only tears. Why? One moment, I will explain to you below. And the second news: My visas firm can reserve tickets, and I used its services again. I asked them how I can reach Denver and how much it costs. They have answered me, that the ticket costs $892 USD. I asked them to find cheaper tickets, because this price is expensive for me. They answered that they had a cheaper ticket but the beginning of the flight is 7-Oct. It costs $780 I asked them to reserve a ticket. But they refused. I tried to convince them, but they did not agree. Then I wondered if it is possible to pay a part of the money now and the other part later. They have not agreed again. I spoke with them for a long time and I managed to persuade them. They agreed. We agreed that I would pay a part of the price today and the other part later. I have been compelled to pawn my jewelry which I have from Mom. I have pawned it in a pawnshop for 120 USD. It has sufficed for an initial payment. I paid $400 USD. It was my last money. The number of the flight on which I reserved the ticket is: 3:35 pm Depart Moscow (SVO) Aeroflot-Russian International Airlines 315, Arrive Denver (DEN) 10:19 pm Delta 1165. It is very difficult for me to tell you about it. But I have done everything I could. I have paid for my visa. I have bought the ticket on a train up to Moscow. I paid a part of the ticket. But this money is not enough. I didn't want to burden you. I wanted to reach you with my own money but unfortunately I failed. Now I have to pay the remaining part. It is only $380 USD. I have to pay this money before Friday morning. Otherwise I will lose my money. If you love me, if you trust me and if you want to see me soon, please, send the money for the ticket before Friday morning. I understand that it is a difficult decision for you, but we must trust each other. Any union without trust is impossible if it is a union of wife and husband or union of boy-friend and girl-friend or union of business partners. I don't want to be hypocritical. That's why I want to tell you following: I do not think that you would like to give the love to the woman whom you won't trust. Also I would not like to give my love to the man which I won't trust. This is a first test for us. And much depends upon it, may be everything. We must trust each other. That's why I was the first who have made the first step. Step to you. Certainly, if you do not want, then you may not help me. It is bad but not fatal. I will lose my money. It is bad too, but not fatal too. I speak so because I am in despair and confusion. Now, when we are divided only with one step, I am afraid. I am afraid that you will not help, and all my diligence will be gone. I love you and I want to be with you and the word of honour, your help is necessary for me. I have not calculated my forces. But together we are much stronger. To pass through difficulties and barrier it is together much easier. I want to present you all my infinite love and fidelity. I did not want to ask you to help. I thought that I can make all myself. The loneliness has made me strong. I have got used to live without the help, and to rely only on myself. I very seldom address to somebody for the help, but now I ask you to help me. I have made a step forward. Please make a step towards me. I hope that I have not offended you. I love you and I trust. I know that you will not throw me now when there was only one step. Tell me Rafe, can you help me? If you have an opportunity you may help me. I wondered how it is possible to do. There is an International Company, which deals with money transfers. Its name a westernunion (by the way, they have a website www.westernunion.com). It has Offices in many cities and countries. There is an Office in my city. If you want and if you can help me, you may send me money using westernunion according following data: Russia SARATOV, 410600. GAZPROMBANK, GORKOGO, 41. For Elena Slezareva. To get the money, I should tell the employee of bank your fullname, your address, exact amount and some confidential numbers (Money Transfer Control Number), which will be given to you, when you will send the money. I love you very much! I thought about you Rafe every time. I never cease to think about you! Your Elena

Date: 10/1/2004 8:36:03 AM
I have not received from you the letter. I wrote to you about the ticket you have received it.

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Black List - page 291: UPDATESOctober 08, 2004 - page 1

Black List - page 291: UPDATES
October 08, 2004 - page 1