Contest:
"Personal Experiences"
I've just
begun
By Jared S.
I wanted to share with you my story of
initiating a search for my true love in the CIS. About a year ago,
my wife left and divorced me - not over any unfaithfulness, but from
irreconcilable differences. I loved her very much and was
devastated. Everything I did to heal the relationship was
criticized. She is a good person with high Christian values like me
but would not accept my efforts.
I remembered from my days in the university
that I considered living for 2 months in Denmark to find a lovely,
trustworthy wife. I figured that many Europeans do not have the
heavily materialist expectations that Americans bring into a
marriage. Now, as I rethought the idea, I concluded that the farther
east I search into Europe, the Ukraine, and Russia, the greater the
likelihood that I would find a women who would appreciate my role as
a breadwinner in the family. Also, I discovered that their attitudes
of the role of the mother in the family are more traditional. Since
I have known some struggle in my life as a child, I can appreciate
the great struggle and sacrifice that many of these women have
persevered through the troubled history of Communism. Lenin's
principles were certainly much more noble than our Darwin-like
Capitalism; they simply do not work in practice in a world of
self-concerned people. We all apparently need quite a bit of
motivation to keep up with the challenges of life. One of these
ladies may greatly appreciate the far-reaching efforts I make to
bring her around the world to a more hopeful environment (not
necessarily that much more secure in our modern world). Sure I can
find a wife here in America, but will the dynamics necessarily work
out? My past relationship proved that identical backgrounds, both
religious and cultural, can create unspoken expectations that can
frustrate even the best relationship. Perhaps a quest to understand
and embrace a wife from a different culture can bind a marriage from
a different approach.
Anyway, as I browsed the Internet, I quickly
found tens if not a hundred sites selling addresses to help me start
the process. Avoiding the scams, I assume many of them are honest
businesses that collect money for their earned efforts. As expected
from the competition, some of them are better deals than others.
Worse than the cost management problem is this. I found quite a few
websites that really do want to maintain a stranglehold over my
correspondences - dipping their hand into my pocket for money for
every word out of my mouth - justified cost or not. Granted, I owe
them a fee for their role in marketing the profiles of interested
parties, but they do not own my relationships.
On a more encouraging note, I found a website
which is willing to offer free addresses and free email-forwarding
with the faith that you will honestly contribute a donation of $600
to their cause when your marriage is complete, if they have proved
faithful in assisting the process. Imagine that - a back-end-paid
donation. $600 does seem a little high, but I appreciate the
nobility of their attitude - pay if you think they have served you
well.
One thing was missing from all of these
websites - DIRECTIONS. Everyone has a conceived notion of how the
process should work, but everyone discovers procedural question in
their mind over which they hope not to stumble. I somehow discovered
www.womenrussia.com
<http://www.womenrussia.com>.
Like anyone knows who has found a golden nugget of an informative
site on a topic, I found the one I needed. Detailed explanations,
extensive Question and Answers section, historical and cultural
background tips were freely offered to me for the learning. I wanted
Elena's site to receive credit (and compensation) to launch an
advertisement in the CIS for me. Who knows where I will necessarily
find the right one. It is very encouraging to respond to a woman who
you know has already felt an attraction to your profile - baldhead
or funny nose.
I received around 30 responses
in the first week (15 on the first day). I have a catalog of
possibilities to begin a few emailed correspondences. My plan is to
develop a few possible courtships before I plan on flying over to
Asia in a few months.
At first, I worried about heavy
email forwarding expenses; I do not want to hassle with slow postal
mail. Many women already have the email process figured out. You can
assist a couple of cases if you need to, but I prefer to stay away
from that because of the possibility of a scam if the cost is not
reasonable. Almost all of Elena's "Russian Brides Cyber guide"
definitely have email addresses. I found 2 that did not.
Next,
I worried about the fluency in English of the candidates. As I
understand my role and duty as the man, I have to figure out this
trans-ocean relationship building process, fly myself around the
world, and propose and arrange an eventual marriage. I expect that
the woman has a responsibility to begin her education of English
before she comes to the USA. For you Frenchmen, I did notice a few
profiles of fluent French. A few knew some German. Sure, her
education in fluency will not be complete until she has lived in
your country for some time, but she should make some initial
progress. This said; you would be shocked at the fluency of some of
the women. Obviously, when looking through profiles, I appreciate
finding fluency self-ratings. My experience has been that some women
under-rate their abilities in English. Because of the differences in
sentence structure, some women's writings sound choppy, but their
message comes out quite clearly. As long as they do not need to look
up every single translation for words they are writing, many
communicate quite effectively. I am patient enough to work with them
to ensure comprehension beyond that. And I suspect that many read
much better than they write. I know some Spanish words to guide my
comprehension, but I can hardly read, write or speak any complete
sentences. Quite a bit of credit must be given to the linguistic
abilities mostly foreign to mainstream USA.
That is my story; I've just
begun, but I must credit a thank you to Elena's website for giving
me much direction, knowledge, and finally the confidence to embark
upon my quest.
Do you have a
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READ
ALSO:
In
Search of my Soulmate
By Charles Smith: "Since the break-up with my last American girl friend, I have been lonely and willing to
try about anything. I contacted a Russian romantic tour company in the States and started to use
their email service to correspond with various women..."
So many sites out there, so many women and so few men
By Randy Gates: "Many companies make promises, say things that aren't true
or never live up to what they promise..."
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