Surefire Conversation Starters

By Arlen Busenitz, Copyright 2004

Can you confidently walk up to someone and start a conversation? Do you know how to evaporate a silent pause? If you answered yes, you are not alone!

Many people struggle with starting conversations. Unfortunately, this leads to poor social skills, uncomfortable pauses, and boring conversations!

That's the bad news. The good news is that anyone can learn how to start conversations and keep them going. You just need the right tools.

Think a moment. If I gave you a birthday candle and a couple matches, you could easily light the candle. However, with no matches it would be nearly impossible!

So also starting a conversation can be tough if you don't have the matches. However, with the right matches or conversation starters, you can quickly strike up a conversation.

Conversation matches come in the form of conversation starter questions. Whip out one of these questions or conversation starters and you can start a conversation with virtually anyone!

One question can start a conversation with a complete stranger. Using a conversation starter with your co-worker or classmate can lead to several minutes of enjoyable conversation.

Here are a few conversation starters which are proven to work for starting conversations. Memorize them and use them.

Conversation Starters for Strangers

What works good with strangers is to ask about something around you. Here are a few examples:

• To a clerk: Has it been a busy today?

• To a airline passenger: How often do you fly?

• To a classmate: How are you enjoying the class?

Conversation Starters for People you See Occasionally or Every Day

Nearly every day we see co-workers, family, etc. These people pose an interesting challenge because you already know a lot about them and have probably discussed the standard topics (family, pets, etc.). Try these conversation starters:

• What do you think about us exploring Mars? Is it worth the money? (Talk about a current event.)

• How was the class? (day at work, the movie, shopping trip, etc..)

• How are things going at work? (in your life, at home, with school, etc..)?

• What is new in your life?

• How are you doing?

• What have you done for fun lately?

Conversation Starters for People You Want to Know Better

These conversation starter questions have numerous uses. When I was in sales, I would use them to build rapport with the customers. They are also great for building friendships. In addition they help you be a social success on dates, at parties, or anywhere there are people!

• How do you like to spend most of your time?

• What do you enjoy about golfing? (parenting, their favorite hobby, work, etc.)?

• Do you enjoy skiing? (name one of your interests)

• What do you find challenging about your job? (cooking, parenting, whatever you are talking about at the moment)

• How did you get started at this job? (meet your spouse, start playing golf, etc.)?

• What do you wish was different about your house? Why? (your life, work, family, hobby, etc.)

That's it! These conversation starters are your matches. Memorize them and keep them handy. Pull one out and use it to strike up a conversation or evaporate a pause.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Arlen Busenitz. Arlen is the author of the free e-mail course "10 Power Tips to Ignite Your Conversation Skills" and several articles including "Start Conversations as Easily as You Start a Car". Find more great ideas, resources and articles at: http://www.conversation-tips.com/cs.

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