What people say about Russian Brides Cyber Guide

I am 42, live in England, divorced. I've decided to find a Russian woman, and I've never had the problem of not having an answer to my letters, I get nine out of ten. You are right - the best thing to do is to be yourself, because if any one out there thinks that the women are stupid, well, he is really mistaken. I've visited Volgograd in Russia, Izmail in Ukrain, and this month I am off to Gomel to find (I hope my other half), and I just want to say that the women that I met there is nothing that I would change about them the way they were. They have everything a man would want in a woman.

Max (England)

Q: Whenever I tell somebody that I am corresponding with a woman from Russia, I hear in response "All they want is Green card". How I can be sure that the woman is really interested in me, and it's not just a scam for immigration purposes?

"All they want is Green Card" is the typical position of narrow-minded people who have labels for everything, and prefer to believe rumors instead of thinking.

Stories about immigration scams in relation to Russian women are for brainwashed people who don't understand the difference between being a single immigrant struggling with jobs, who has to start her life from scratch in an unknown country, without family and friends, and a woman who is happily married to a citizen, and has a nice secure life - even from the cynic point of view, one must be absolutely stupid to choose the first option, and Russians are anything but stupid.

United States is the country built by immigrants, and thousands of new immigrants arrive every year. People are so used to illegal immigrants from Cuba, Mexico and other nearby countries that for them it's no difference, if a person is from abroad, she is just looking for a way to get in.

Meanwhile, the situation with Russian women seeking marriage abroad is very different.

First of all, most of them are well educated and professional people, who have good jobs and careers in Russia. They have something to lose. For them, it's a big decision to move to an unknown country. Don't forget, they do not have a clear idea of what to expect or what life in USA is like. They have seen some things on TV, but it's the same type of knowledge you have about Russia - very incomplete and exaggerated. They do not think it's a paradise where the roads are paved with gold. And they usually don't have friends or acquaintances who have been there, and know what it's like "from first hands".

When they decide to move to USA to marry a citizen, they have to give up everything they had - family, friends, career, leaving behind the only life they ever knew, and many of them have had quite a good life (according to Russian standards).

And they have nobody here - no friends, no family, no one except the future husband. For Russian people who grew up in the situation of total dependence when one can make a success of her life only in cooperation with family and friends, it's a big challenge. They are not used to independence (it's why Russian wives make excellent partners), and see the future husband as the only source of security and protection.

The biggest fear a Russian woman has when marrying a foreigner is that her foreign husband will leave her, and she will have to come back after she gave up her life, job, home and friends in her native country. Many don't sell their flats because they are afraid they won't have a place to stay if they have to come back. They don't even think they will be able to cope on their own in the strange country. It's why they often prefer marriage to older men while in Russia women usually marry men of their own age - they want to make sure a future husband will not leave her one day for a younger woman.

(I have to admit, that after selling my car and other stuff in Russia, I left money to my parents, with the condition that they wouldn't spend some amount in the case if it does not work out, and I have to come back.)

I believe that scams for immigration purposes are untypical for Russian-American marriages. It may probably happen if your bride is young, very career oriented and adventurous, and she has nothing to lose at her native country. 

Possible warning signs: she expects you immediately send her to college, she has a few friends/relatives that live not far away from the place you live, she does not want to have children in marriage in the nearest 2-3 years, or she has good qualifications, and wants to start working as soon as possible. And she must be very young - under 25 years old, without children. If you have a few warning signs, this MAY BE a situation of an immigration scam (it still does not mean it is).

Women of the age 25+ are never that adventurous to opt for an immigration scam. They don't have those guts, and don't even think about it.

So if your "wife to be" is not crazy about starting immediate career in the States, she is not after Green Card. She is after love, marriage and security.

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