How do I tell a woman I proposed to another one?

Q: I was very successful with my ad; and there are three women I want to meet on my trip to Russia. I am going to spend a few days with each lady. My question is, how do I tell two of the women I visited that I made my proposal to another? There is no way to avoid hurting feelings. I believe that even the women I will not visit have serious interest in me. What I want to do is minimize damage. You wrote several times about Russian women having low self esteem. All of the women in question seem to be very high quality. I believe there are men who will want them, even if it takes some time to find those men. My concern is some of "my" ladies might give up when I tell them.

I understand your feelings and fears. What I can suggest, if you see that the lady is not right for you when you meet her, tell her about it as soon as possible.

Arrange something romantic like a fine restaurant, take her hand in your hand, and say what a wonderful woman she is. Say her that you like her, and will always be her friend, but you don't think you two can make it as a couple. Tell her that it is very difficult for you to say that to her, but you are sure there are many men who will be happy to be with her. You want her to be happy, and wish her all the best, it's why you are saying that to her NOW.

It may be very difficult for you to tell that to a lady in person. But it will be MUCH better for her, if you care. If you just drop her a letter afterwards she will feel betrayed and humiliated. If you tell her everything straight away, she will be able to cope with it easier. It is possible she also feels the same towards you (yes, it is also possible!), and you will make things for her less complicated.

What to do if you don't feel straight away that the woman is not right for you? It may happen that you'll like all 3 of them very much, and will struggle with making a choice.

Then you will have to announce sad news to two of them afterwards, but also - do it personally, at least by phone. Do it yourself, do not use interpreters. You must just be open and honest. It is always difficult to tell such things, but when you've done, you feel that you did the right thing.

Should you tell a lady about the other girls you are intending to meet? I would suggest - no. They don't want to know about other girls you are going to see. If they ask, don't lie, but don't tell anything except admitting the fact that you have seen somebody else. Don't tell that you will see somebody else after her.

You must be prepared that probably no one will be the lady you are looking for, and probably all will be wonderful. But in any way - be honest, and think what you would prefer a guy to do if it was your daughter. If you are honest and sincere, women won't be cross at you, and they will respect you even more because you did your best to don't hurt them.

Make sure you brought special gifts for all ladies, and handle the presents in the very beginning. At least they will have something out - you probably think it's funny to think about getting a perfume when your possible future marriage is ruined, but for women it is different. For them your relationship is NOT REAL, even after a few months of correspondence and personal meeting. She still thinks it too good to be true, and is internally ready to accept it will fail. Honestly. I managed to believe in what was happening to me 2 months after my marriage!

Last month Top FAQ:

Q: Many women on the various agency sites advertise the fact that they have a child or children. This may be a generalization, but I think it most probable the child or children would have little, or no comprehension of the English language. I am concerned that introducing a foreign child to a new country, and to what would invariably be a totally new and alien schooling system, is bound to have a detrimental effect on their educational and social development, due to a simple lack of understanding (at least in the short to medium term). I would be pleased to hear your thoughts on this particular aspect.

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