Are you desperate enough?

Are you desperate enough?
By Elena Petrova, www.elenasmodels.com

Today a reporter phoned me and among many others, asked this question: Is it true that it is mostly desperate people that are using Russian dating websites?

I often receive requests for interviews from journalists (“Russian brides” are a hot topic) and this question inevitably pops up.

I am used to this type of questions and usually I answered them that NO, people using Russian dating sites are not desperate and they are not losers, as the popular opinion holds, they are good honest people looking for their true love, etc, etc.

I guess this is what anybody involved in the Russian dating industry, or using services of a Russian marriage agency would say. This is probably what the reporter expected to hear as well. This is what I was ALWAYS saying.

But today, I did something different.

When the reporter asked me if men and women using Russian dating sites were desperate, I simply answered: “Yes, they are!!!”

The reporter was dumb founded. I could hear her struggling to come up with something, mumbling and rumbling, and I decided to help her out, “Of course they ARE desperate! If a person wasn’t desperate, and could just find the perfect partner next door, why would they go through all the hurdles of meeting someone from the other end of the world?”

This idea seemed to make the reporter think, and she was carefully listening to what I was saying.

I continued, “I can tell you I was certainly desperate when I started to look for somebody abroad. I really wanted to get married and I could not find a suitable guy at home for many years. This is why I started to look elsewhere. If I had not struggled for so long to find somebody at home, I would never start looking abroad! This is what most people do: they are lonely, they want to meet somebody, and they start looking for this somebody at home. They meet some people through their mutual acquaintances and friends, and they still cannot find the right person for them. Then they go to dating services and look there, or try to meet somebody via Internet. If this also doesn’t work out, they may come across a Russian dating site and try to talk to people there. This is how it happens. No one wakes up in the morning and decides all of a sudden, “OK, I know: I am going to marry a Russian woman!” They first seek somebody closer to home and when they cannot find what they are looking for, they may come to the idea of broadening their search and looking elsewhere. So, yes, of course they are desperate - desperate to find the RIGHT PERSON!”

The reporter was silent for a minute, and then she said, “Well, it makes sense.”

It sure does!

Look back at your own situation, would you go and look for somebody abroad if you could just find the perfect partner within 5 miles from your home? Surely not!

I would not do it either!

NO ONE WOULD. This would be just crazy.

So, yes, men and women using our services ARE desperate. But this is not all: they are not just desperate, they are desperate enough. And this distinction makes all the difference.

What do I mean?

Let me explain: when I said men and women using our service are desperate, I did not mean they are desperate to the point they would accept anybody. Of course not!

You would not accept just anybody and I would not, and I can assure you that 25,000 members of Elena’s Models would not do it either. We are looking for somebody but we are NOT looking for anybody.

Men and women using our service, they are desperate to find THE RIGHT PERSON; this is why they decided on such an unusual way of meeting a life partner. The other word for that would be "industrious". When you try to find a job and you cannot find one to your liking, some people may just settle for meager jobs (very few). Others may accept a bad job but keep looking for a better one. Still others will keep looking for the good job without compromise.

People who accepted a meager job would not be "desperate" in common sense - they may be even considered successful by society as they fit the social stereotype of stability of having a secure employment. Those are the people who would not join our service, as it's too much hassle for them. The second and especially the third type of people are our clients. They are desperate enough to keep searching for that perfect partner they cannot find closer to home.

Of course I could get married in Russia and I had marriage offers from Russian guys, but they were not the right guys for me. So I decided to broaden my search and look besides the borders. I did it because I was desperate to find the right partner for me and I did not want to settle for less. When I was looking for somebody abroad, it was the same: I would not jump on anybody who offered me marriage - I met several foreign men and they weren't what I wanted, or there was no chemistry, and that was all. But I was desperate enough to KEEP SEARCHING.

People who are just "desperate", they sit at home doing nothing or settle for less. They don't want to go through hurdles of an international relationship. They decide, to hell with marriage/women/men and just go through their usual routines. One must be really strong to pull it off. The key is to be “desperate enough”. This is what keeps you going and striving for the better in life.

So, my question is: Are you desperate enough?

Are you desperate enough to MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Elena Petrova is the owner of the dating agency Elena’s Models www.elenasmodels.com and the author of the popular e-book “How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me”, where you can find advice on all topics regarding dating, courting and marrying Your Dream Woman from Russia.

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