True life fairy-tale from Bart and Irina
+ Comments on Myths and Realities
Since almost a
was browsing through many dating-sites and looking at
the Ad's of Russian women. The reason I did that was that I just wanted
have a woman who identifies the 'normal' values in a relationship like,
love, respect, trust, devotion, loyalty and affection. For two years I
couldn't manage to find such a woman in my own country (too many
weirdo's). Due to several Dating-sites, which almost always write that
(most) Russian-women still have such 'values' I thought to myself, why
not try to find a new partner in Russia. But that's easy to say, but
difficult to act, at least for me it was.
Unfortunately, I have had a 'bad' experience with my last partner
trust and respect, so I was very vulnerable and very insecure to just
start writing a complete unknown woman. Also because of the fact that
read that not all of the women on those Dating-sites are 'honest' with
their meaning of finding a new partner in the 'west' part of this world.
But one day
day, I found
your site Elena, and I think I have read your site more then 10 times,
I mean about the FAQ's and your '9 myth's' and to be honest, your site
gave me hope and courage to finally take the initiative to really write
a woman (when I find one, who gives me a reason to write). One of your
advice (after I send you an email to give you a compliment about your
site) was try to look at Kiss.com,
because your experience was that this site was pretty reliable. So, one
night, in the beginning of June, I started to write my Ad and uploaded
it with a photo to this site.
After that, I
browse through the women's ad's. Of course there was a big choice of
available women, but their ad's where pretty equal to each other, what
I mean is, it was very difficult just to choose one. But then, when I
was reading one special Ad, I discovered a difference with all the
other Ad's. This Ad was written in a very personal way, not like all
the other's, I really could read 'between' the lines, if you know what
I mean. Although the Ad was only half a page, I really could imagine
what kind of woman she was. So I decided to respond to this woman with
a letter, but because at that time it was already late in the night and
I decided to write her the next day, so I bookmarked her Ad, to come
back the next day.
The next day:
I started my computer and first (like I always do) opened my email-box.
And I saw that I received a response from someone from Kiss.com.
I started to read this letter and became a little bit excited, because
this letter was very personal, open, honest and without lines like
somebody who is trying to 'sell' herself, if you know what I mean. This
was a response of someone who really was attracted by my Ad and the way
I expressed and described myself in my Ad, but at the same time she was
writing also in a very special way and like I said before, very 'open'
too, she already wrote down her real email-address and her
real-postal-address too, so this gave me courage to believe that she
wasn't just somebody who wants to 'play' using internet. Of course I
was very curious to know who she was and I clicked on her link to her
Ad to hope if she also had a picture on her Ad.
Well Elena, I
remember if I already told you this before, but when I opened her Ad,
it was the woman I bookmarked the night before, the woman I had chosen
to respond to her Ad.
At that moment,
needed a break, because for me this was to 'unreal' to believe this was
true. I mean from all of the thousands women who have their Ad's at Kiss.com,
I just picked out one woman and believe it or not, that woman had
picked out me. From this moment on, I already knew, this is
the one, this is not just a coincidence, this must have be a reason,
'somebody' is trying to get these two persons together, that's how I
was thinking about this coincidence.
started to respond her letter and explained her also what
happened (about the coincidence). I wrote her a very large letter and
asked her if she had the possibility to reply me with a confirmation
that she had received my letter (because I didn't know yet if she had
the possibility to use a computer with an internet connection).
The next day (Friday) I received a confirmation and a short comment
that she thanked me very much for my large and very interesting open
letter, but that she only could reply me on the next Monday, because
she only could access a computer at her work. Well I was happy to
receive this email, because I knew that she had received and read my
letter and was waiting very impatience for her reply on Monday.
Of course this
was a very long weekend for me, waiting till Monday, was terrible.
Anyway, as promised I received Monday (late in the evening) her reply.
First she made a compliment to me about the 'open' way I was writing to
her, it made her feel very comfortable and very personal too. From my
first letter, she was very impressed about me, she compared me with
other 'men' who also replied to her Ad, she said, comparing to me,
those other 'men' weren't even 'close' to me. From the beginning of our
'writing-period' Irina was very happy with me. I think the reason was
that I can be very open (when the 'feeling' is right), sensitive and I
am not afraid to talk or write about emotions. But the more we were
writing, Irina became more and more insecure.
Because of the
that, from the beginning, we really 'fit' with each other, we share the
same (emotional) thoughts, habits, dislike the same inhabits, share the
same hobbies and other important things in life and above all, from the
beginning we said to each other, "let us not try to act like if we are
'other' persons than we really are", in other words, from the beginning
we both were ourselves, not better, not worse.
But she still
insecure. because for her, I was too good to be true. Sometimes she
thought, this was only a dream, this is not real and I had much trouble
to convince her that I was not just a dream. The more we were writing,
and after a short time, also phoning each other (every day at least one
time), the more difficult it became to maintain this kind of
relationship, I mean just writing and phoning is not enough of course,
we really were longing for each other, to hold each other, to feel each
other, just to look in each other's eyes.
So after we wrote almost everything about ourselves (I think Irina even
knows me better now then my own mother and vice versa), I proposed her
visit her. Irina didn't need much time to say, yes, please, come as
soon as possible, because I can't eat anymore and if you are not coming
soon, I will die from hunger. So I bought an open ticket (thank God I
am working at an Airline company, so tickets are almost 'free' for me),
arranged an invitation from a hotel in Moscow and rushed to the Embassy
to get me a visa. I had to wait for 5 days for the Visa and then
Well, Elena, you will remember my email to you about the first contact,
about how I should act and above all, about my insecureness to meet
Irina finally in 'person'. Would she still like me, wasn't I a
'stranger' to her, what shall I do when I see her at the first moment?
all questions which crossed my mind during those 5 long days.
So, D-day had come and I traveled to the airport, with presents for her
daughter, mother, brother and of course for Irina too. I had a (new)
perfume, 15 red roses and a golden necklace with a diamond which I kept
for a possible romantic evening-present.
In time I arrived at Moscow Intl. airport, but had to wait for almost 2
hours before I got through the passport/visa control. Irina would pick
me up at the airport and I figured (knowing her) that she already was
waiting for more then 3 hours and beside that, it was very hot that day
and together with my nervous feeling, while I was waiting for the
passport control, I felt terrible nervous. Thank God the waiting had an
end and I started to walk to the exit.
'Millions' of people were waiting there and I was thinking, how the
heck will I find her between all those people. I decided just to walk
through the bunch of people and wait at a spot where it was more quiet.
But then, suddenly, a hand came between all those waiting people from
nowhere, grabbed me while somebody was calling my name and before I
knew I was embracing a beautiful woman named Irina. (By the way, she
took the initiative!)
didn't talk, we were just looking at each other like if we wanted to
know if this still was not a dream, but then we were disturbed by a
man, who was asking to me if I was Mr. D from Holland, and I said yes.
It seemed to be the man from the car rent company where I hired a car,
I almost forgot that I hired a car.
So we walked to
parking place, he explained something about the car and then Irina and
I started our first car trip to the center of Moscow, where my hotel
was. During the car trip we talked and talked like we knew each other
already for years.
The talking was
comfortable and I kept on looking to her, which made her a little bit
shy. I explained her: my dear Irina, I received so many letters from
you, so you don't have to tell me what kind of person you are, but I
never saw you in 'person' before, so I will keep on looking at you,
because comparing to all those letters, I am far behind with looking at
you. And then she started to smile (little bit shy again) and from this
moment I felt in love again with her, but this time for 'real' if you
know what I mean, this time it was real, not just a letter or a
picture, but a real person in 'life'. Her smiling made me feel like
walking on clouds, but unfortunately I couldn't look too much to her,
because I was driving a car in Russia, well everyone, who ever was in
Russia before, knows what I mean by that.
After we found my hotel and checked in, we drove to her village,
Klyazma, about 35km north of Moscow, there I met her mother, brother
and Anna, her daughter of 4 years old. I bought a big bear for Anna and
she was grateful when I gave her that, I also had some presents for her
mother and brother, they both were very happy for Irina, that I was
here with her in Moscow. Her mother wants Irina to be happy again and
after a little time, her mother told Irina, that I was a man with very
'open' eyes and that she already knew that I was the right man for her.
That night I
her house, in fact I stayed the whole period, I was in Russia, in her
house. (We both were only staying in the hotel when we had a late night
out in Moscow, so we didn't had to drive back home.) Although it was
still the first day, for the both of us it looked like we knew each
other for years, everything we did, like walking in her house, like I
was there many times before or playing with Anna, like I used to do
that when I was there, in fact it was a little bit weird, I mean being
there the first day and we went along with each other like it was
'normal' for us to be there, no silences between us, no nervous
feelings, it just felt good and we both felt very comfortable being
The next (second) day we went to Moscow to visit some things, from this
day, the real romance between us developed by touching each other, like
holding hands, kissing each other, just like we were two people who
were incredible in love with each other (and we were!). And the other
days, our love was only growing and growing. We really are at the same
'level' we didn't rush but we didn't wait too, we both just had the
same 'speed' to develop our love for each other and we even were at the
same frequency with 'normal' things.
When I was
something, for example in a shop, she, at the same time, was looking at
the same, when we were drinking coffee somewhere outside and she looked
at some person for one of another reason, I did the same, without
saying to each other we did. When I started to tell her something, then
at that time she was thinking about the same I was starting to tell
her, I mean, we have the same thoughts (sometimes at the same time),
hobbies, interests, the way we want to show our love to each other, the
compliments I give to her and she to me, there really was nothing which
didn't fit with each other.
So Elena, I can talk about every day we spend with each other, but
these days were the same, except for the love-part, this was only
getting bigger and stronger. We both feel very secure with each other
and we both are very certain about each other.
evening, when we
went out for dinner, it was a very romantic evening, I gave her the
golden necklace with diamond to her and told her that I want her to
stay with me for the rest of our life, in other words, I asked her to
marry me and she said yes!, without any hesitation, just "Yes I do",
like she was expecting I would ask her, like it was very 'normal' that
we should marry each other.
I know it
little bit 'early' to make such big, important step, but why wait? wait
for what?, sometimes two people can meet each other and from that very
first moment, they both know, that he/she is the man/woman I was
waiting for and I think we are those kind of people, we don't have a
reason to wait.
When I went back to Holland again, we both were crying at the airport
like two kids. But from the first day I was back home again, we both
started to make arrangements for her visit to Holland and to gather all
the necessary papers to apply for a permanent citizen license for
Irina. Of course we phone each other every day and we both are very
busy with all kind of official paper-matters, like dealing with the
Ministry of Foreign affairs and other official offices.
To end this letter, I will give you some feedback on your 9 myth's.
Those 9 myth's were very helpful for me before I decided to write a
Russian woman, but I have to tell you, the feedback I give has
everything to do with Irina and the impression I got when I visited
Moscow. Of course the answers are also depending of the kind of woman
you meet, but in general, you are very right with your answers.
Lots of greetings,
PS This is the
part of our story ;-)))
Russian women are more beautiful, feminine and stylish.
I THINK THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THIS WORLD, BUT ABOUT THE
FEMININE AND STYLISH PART, I CERTAINLY AGREE.
agencies publish photo of models to receive money for the
false addresses from lonely Western men.
I THINK, WHEN YOU READ THE FIRST (REPLY) LETTER VERY CAREFUL I MEAN,
READ ALSO 'BETWEEN' THE LINES (for example, try to read if she really
wrote this letter personal to you) THEN YOU ALREADY CAN SEE IF THIS
LETTER IS A 'PERSONAL' ONE OR A 'READY-MADE' ONE.
Russian women are not interested in career and dream to be housewives.
THE 'CAREER' PART IS RIGHT, BUT THEY ARE VERY SERIOUS AND DEVOTED ABOUT
THE WORK THEY DO, ALSO IF THEY ONLY WORK TO HAVE A 'LIVING'. BUT
DREAMING ABOUT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE IS NOT REALLY A 'DREAM', I THINK IN
THE BEGINNING THEY WILL LIKE IT, TO DO THINGS FOR THEIR 'OWN', TO HAVE
TIME FOR THEIR OWN, BUT
WHEN THEY GET USED OF THEIR NEW LIFE, I THINK WORKING (PERHAPS NOT
FULLTIME) WILL CERTAINLY BECOME AN OPTION AGAIN. (EXCEPT WHEN THERE IS
ANOTHER REASON, FOR EXAMPLE: BECOMING A 'MOTHER' AGAIN, THAT WILL BE A
FULLTIME JOB TOO [ha,ha])
dependent, shy, reserved and don't want to work;
NONSENSE, RUSSIAN WOMEN ARE VERY 'HARD' WORKERS (MORE THEN MEN I WOULD
SAY), BUT YES, THEY ARE DEPENDENT, BUT NOT FOR THE MONEY OR WHATEVER,
THEY ARE DEPENDENT OF THE LOVE FROM THEIR PARTNER, LIKE I AM DEPENDENT
OF HER LOVE, AND ABOUT 'SHY', WELL, IRINA IS A LITTLE BIT SHY, BUT ONLY
WHEN I CAN'T STOP LOOKING INTO HER EYES, FOR THE REST, IRINA IS A WOMAN
WHO KNOWS WHAT TO DO IN THIS/HER LIFE, SHE IS VERY INITIATIVE AND KNOWS
WHAT TO DO IF SHE WANTS TO REACH SOMETHING IN HER LIFE.
you will have
to feed a
Russian wife for the rest of your life.
I THINK IRINA WILL FEED ME, BECAUSE COOKING IS ONE OF HER GREAT
Russian women appreciate traditional family values, they are serving
I WILL AGREE WITH THIS ONE, BUT ABOUT THE SACRIFICING, IRINA WILL NEVER
DO THINGS IN HER LIFE WHICH SHE CAN'T AGREE WITH HERSELF. OF COURSE SHE
WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR HER DAUGHTER AND FOR ME TOO I THINK, BUT ONLY IF
SHE WANTS TO AND ONLY IF IT ISN'T AGAINST HER FAITH OF HER LIFE.
Half of women
by Internet introduction agencies are prostitutes, the other are
I THINK THIS IS COMPLETELY NOT TRUE!
Russian women are well educated and intelligent.
CONCERNING IRINA? YES, SHE IS! IRINA IS A VERY INTELLIGENT MEDICAL
RESEARCHER IN A WELL KNOWN INSTITUTE OF MOSCOW.
live in a
completely different world, they are stupid in the
simplest everyday things; it will be very difficult for a Russian woman
study language and adapt.
THIS IS NONSENSE TOO!, RUSSIAN WOMEN (LIKE I EXPERIENCED FROM MOSCOW)
CERTAINLY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THE OTHER (WEST) SIDE OF THIS
WORLD, LIKE FASHION, MUSIC, MCDONALDS, WORLD NEWS, FOR ME IN MOSCOW
THERE WAS NO DIFFERENCE LIKE I AM USED TO HAVE IN MY OWN COUNTRY. AND
ABOUT THE LANGUAGE, DURING THESE DAYS, IRINA LEARNED A LOT OF DUTCH
WORDS, WHICH SHE STILL REMEMBERS, WHILE I AM PHONING TO HER, I OFTEN
USE DUTCH WORDS, JUST TO GET HER USED TO IT AND SHE DOESN'T HAS ANY
PROBLEM TO REMIND THOSE WORDS.
Russian women are very fond of Western men.
I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, BUT ONLY FOR THE REASON THAT WESTERN MEN STILL
SEEMS TO HAVE SOME 'MANNERS' TO TREAT A WOMAN AND TO MAINTAIN A GOOD
RELATIONSHIP OR FAMILY TRADITION (AT LEAST I DO).
Russian men. All Russian women are eager to escape Russia for the
better life on the West.
IT IS NOT THAT RUSSIAN WOMEN WANTS TO ESCAPE 'RUSSIA', THEY WANT TO
ESCAPE THEIR CURRENT LIFE, WHICH MOSTLY DOES NOT HAVE A GOOD
(PARTNERSHIP) FUTURE WITH RUSSIAN MEN. AND BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO SEARCH
'OUTSIDE' RUSSIA (WITHIN RUSSIA, THERE ARE NOT MANY SINGLE WESTERN
MEN), THAT'S THE REASON THEY START TO LIVE IN AN OTHER COUNTRY.
Russian women prefer much older husbands. One can easily find a young
beautiful Russian woman who will be happy to marry him.
THIS IS ALSO COMPLETE NONSENSE, IF THEY HAD THE OPPORTUNITY, THEY WOULD
PREFER A MAN OF THEIR OWN AGE OR AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT CLOSE TO THEIR
AGE, OUR AGE-DIFFERENCE IS 8 YEARS, FOR HOLLAND, THIS IS NORMAL TOO.
BUT AGE-DIFFERENCES LIKE 15, 20 OR 25 YEARS IS NOT WHAT RUSSIAN WOMEN
ARE LOOKING FOR.
Men, who are
Russian wives, are unattractive, old and desperate
THIS IS NONSENSE TOO, THE REASON I WAS LOOKING FOR A RUSSIAN WOMEN, WAS
ONLY FOR THE REASON THAT THE LAST 2 YEARS, I ONLY MET WEIRD AND
FRUSTRATED WOMEN, THANK GOD, RUSSIAN WOMEN STILL THINK THAT REAL LOVE,
RESPECT AND TRUST ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP.
Making contact with Russian ladies will cost you almost nothing, so
don't you try?
WELL, THE FIRST CONTACT WAS INDEED FREE FOR ME, BUT WHEN WE STARTED TO
DEVELOP OUR RELATIONSHIP, PHONE CALLS, AIRLINE TICKETS, VISA, HOTEL AND
OTHER THINGS ARE NOT THAT CHEAP, BUT FOR THE PRICE OF A NORMAL 2 WEEKS
HOLIDAY, YOU ALMOST CAN 'BUY' A NEW EVERLASTING FUTURE FOR YOURSELF, SO
EVERY PENNY IS WORTH IT, TO GIVE IT A TRY.
is a difficult and costly exercise, and one barely
CONCERNING THE PAPERS YOU NEED FROM THE RUSSIAN WOMAN, YES, THEY ARE
DIFFICULT TO GET (especially in Russia), BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. BEFORE
SOMEBODY (WANTS TO) STARTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH A RUSSIAN WOMAN, HE MUST
KNOW WHAT HE/SHE NEEDS (OFFICIAL PAPERS) IF THEY BOTH DECIDE TO LIVE
WITH EACH OTHER. AND ABOUT MARRYING EACH OTHER, IF SHE HAS THE RIGHT
PAPERS, MARRY WILL COSTS AS MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER WEDDING. PREFERABLE IS
MARRY EACH OTHER IN THE COUNTRY WHERE THE MAN LIVES, BECAUSE THE PAPERS
WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY OFFICIAL. (THIS CONCERNS HOLLAND), YOU ALWAYS CAN
GIVE A 'SECOND' WEDDING-PARTY IN RUSSIA WITH HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
AND IF THIS MARRIAGE WILL SUCCEED? I THINK THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE WITH
MARRYING A RUSSIAN WOMAN OR A WOMAN FROM MY OWN COUNTRY, BUT TO BE
HONEST, I THINK THERE IS A DIFFERENCE, I THINK THAT RUSSIAN WOMEN HAVE
MORE LOYALTY TO THEIR HUSBAND THEN WOMEN (I KNOW) FROM MY OWN COUNTRY.
Russian women are not interested in your money or financial situation;
YES AND NO, IRINA IS NOT INTERESTED IN MY MONEY, BUT SHE IS INTERESTED
IN A 'NORMAL' LIFE, THE LIFE I LIVE, NOT CONCERNING MONEY IN SPECIAL,
BUT FOR EXAMPLE, THE INFRASTRUCTURE IN OUR COUNTRY IS MUCH BETTER THEN
IN RUSSIA, FOR ANOTHER EXAMPLE, SHE HATES TO TRAVEL EACH DAY 2 TIMES
FOR 2 HOURS WITH THE LOCAL TRAIN TO GET AT HER WORK. SHE DISLIKES TOO,
THAT SOMETIMES IN HER VILLAGE, JUST LIKE THAT, THE ELECTRICITY GOES
DOWN FOR AN UNKNOWN TIME. AND OF COURSE HAVING AN AVERAGE SALARY IN MY
COUNTRY, FOR HER THAT WILL GIVE HER THE FEELING THAT SHE IS 'RICH'.
LIVING IN A COUNTRY WHERE THE ECONOMY IS VERY HEALTHY, IS FOR HER
ALMOST 'PARADISE' COMPARING TO RUSSIA. I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE, OWN CAR,
OWN MOTORCYCLE AND A VERY GOOD JOB, BUT SHE NEVER 'ASKED' ABOUT MY
SALARY OR LIVING STANDARD. I, VOLUNTARY TOLD HER THAT BY MYSELF. I
THINK RUSSIAN WOMEN ARE VERY MODEST CONCERNING THIS MATTER, AT LEAST
Russian woman is just a scam to make you send her money.
NOT TRUE, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, SHE NEVER ASKED ME ABOUT ANY MONEY, SHE
EVEN WAS ASHAMED AND FELT GUILTY THAT I HAD TO PAY FOR MYSELF SO MUCH
MONEY TO VISIT HER. BUT OF COURSE I VOLUNTARY PAID HER TICKET TO VISIT
ME AND I PAID FOR THE MONEY SHE NEEDS TO GET ALL THE OFFICIAL PAPERS TO
LIVE WITH ME. BUT I ALSO WOULD DO THAT FOR ANY OTHER WOMAN FROM ANY
PLACE OF THE WORLD.
a Russian girl
you as you are.
CONCERNING IRINA, YES!, SHE DOES AND WILL
It will be a paradise on the earth after I marry a Russian woman.
IT CERTAINLY WILL BE A PARADISE WHEN I MARRY IRINA AND I WILL GIVE HER
THE FEELING THAT SHE IS IN PARADISE WHEN SHE MARRIES ME!
after passports, and will divorce their husbands as
soon as they have the passport.
MAYBE SOME ARE, BUT I BELIEVE THAT'S ONLY A VERY SMALL PART OF ALL THE
WOMEN WHO WANTS TO LIVE WITH A WESTERN MAN. BY THE WAY, A FOREIGN WOMAN
WHO STARTS TO LIVE IN HOLLAND, HAS TO STAY AT LEAST 5 YEARS BEFORE SHE
CAN GET A DUTCH-PASSPORT, DURING THESE 5 YEARS SHE ONLY HAS A
'TEMPORARY' CITIZEN-LICENSE. I THINK NOBODY CAN 'FAKE' 5 YEARS AND
LEAVE THEIR HUSBAND AFTER THAT JUST BECAUSE OF HAVING THAT PASSPORT.
Again I give you my best regards and all the luck with your web-site.
We'll keep in touch!
in Ukraine - and I'd do it again!
A true-life story of Alan
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