| Women join HERE! | |
 |
|
|
|
The Path of Relationship
|
By Mark Susnow
I was away from home for the first time at UC Berkeley. There is always someone you meet that you look up to who seems to have all the answers. Mike Breen was that guy for me. I had just turned 17 and at 19 Mike seemed to possess that wisdom and experience about girls that was missing in my life. I remember the defining conversation like it was yesterday. "Mike what do you do if you meet a girl and you really like her and maybe even love her?" And Mike coolly replied with that air of maturity and experience, "you tell her how you feel". I confusingly asked "What if she says she doesn't love you back?" That was one of my biggest fears and a few years later at the end of my junior year I felt that pain of rejection when my girl friend Bobbi told me she loved someone else.. I made the decision that I would never feel that pain again so I avoided anyone who I thought could hurt me like Bobbi did. By looking back and examining some of my old patterns I understand what I did to avoid the possibility of experiencing this pain again. One thing I did was to select partners who I knew did not fit my picture of the person I wanted to be with. By finding *enough faults with them I could keep them at a distance and eventually move on to avoid getting hurt. Another approach was to select a partner who was emotionally unavailable. They were hopelessly self centered, in other relationships or real afraid of intimacy because of the same wounds that I had experienced. If I was really honest with myself it was obvious from the very beginning. Even though I felt that I wanted a life long partner, this pattern of avoidance lasted for many years. During this phase of my life I had engaged many teachers and mentors and participated in many personal growth workshops and always on some level my focus was on overcoming my barriers to having a great relationship. Sometimes there's a saying or a poem that sticks with you and makes the biggest difference in your life. For me it was the following quote by Anais Nin that inspired me in my quest. "And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk to blossom." Have your ever thought about the connection between trust and risk. To have a great relationship you must take a risk and be vulnerable. As you are able to increase your capacity to risk you also increase your capacity to trust. As my attitudes and beliefs shifted I was able to embrace my fears, overcome my barriers and attract my soul mate. Annie believes in me and brings out the best in me. We have been on this journey together for over 21 years. I would like to share with you a few of my insights that have enabled me to embrace this path of relationship. In a subsequent article I will share with you some of my insights as to what is necessary to deepen this journey. We all want to be with someone who we think is special. Regardless of how special they are if they are not interested in you the same way you are interested in them it will never work. Ask yourself if they love you in the way you want to be loved? If they are self absorbed and self-centered they probably won't be capable of loving you in the way you want. I think most of us really know the truth in the beginning but we long so much for this special type of relationship that we overlook the obvious. Sometimes we start to think that perhaps there's something wrong with us so we give up on what we really want. We change our values and choose a partner that on some level we know isn't the right one. We usually have a mental image or concept of the kind of person we want to be with. If your partner does not fit that image your emotions and heart will be in conflict with your mind. We all have dreams and goals. Honour them by asking yourself if you and your partner share the same dream. If you have different dreams and a different vision it's going to be difficult for the relationship to reach its fullest potential. Pay attention to the clues. If you desire a long term relationship and pick a partner who hasn't had a relationship greater than six months, the likelihood is that this new relationship won't last much longer. I know there are many books written on relationships. These are just some of my thoughts. I realize that a lot more can be said and in the next letter I will focus on things you can do to
enhance the quality of your relationship and to deepen your connection. I hope my experiences and insights inspire possibility in your life. Feel free to pass this letter on to those in your circle. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: © 2004 Mark Susnow, formerly a trial attorney for 30 years as a coach, speaker, and group facilitator. He's inspired hundreds of people to believe in themselves and to achieve their goals and dreams. Contact Mark now to discover how you can benefit from coaching or subscribe to his newsletter at http://www.inspirepossibility.com Do you
have an article we could publish? We want to hear from you! READ ALSO:
How to tell what they meant - By Susan Dunn. Sometimes you feel like it is so hard to understand the next person. Or you don't have a clue what they meant when they say things. Do they really mean it or Is that a sarcasm or a joke? Learn the trick then you won't miss out anymore. Ideas For Fun: Where To Go And What To Do On A Date - By Alan Detwiler, Have you been on many dates and did the same thing every time and thought of doing something else this time? Or do you want your loved one to fall in love with you all over again? Then this is the must-read-article for you. Find out more. Baby Expense: What To Do When Baby's On The Way And Money Is Tight - Thinking of how you are going to make it through with your Russian wife not being able to work, a new baby on the way and the pile of bills to pay? You are not alone; many families face this challenge. We've got some good new for you: you don't have to be rich to raise a healthy, happy baby! How to choose a Wedding Florist, Floral Designer and - or Decorator - Planning a wedding? Here are some sound tips on choosing what's right for your setting - and your wallet. JUST RELEASED! New
E-book by Elena Petrova: Comment from the
reader:
Find out once and forever what Russian women are really looking for, why they are looking for it and how you can give them exactly what they want! With "How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me" you'll learn knock-out techniques that will instantly boost your success rate in dating Russian women - online and in real life. You will have more beautiful girls that want to be with you than you can handle! And not just ordinary girls! They will be beautiful, intelligent, but most of all - honest and sincere! You will be the one to take your pick! STOP wasting your time and money in search for a Russian wife... Get it done - painlessly, easily, and certainly! Moreover, have lots of fun along the way! Yes, you too can marry a girl like the one on the picture... Click here!
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
