Russian Brides Cyber Guide
I just purchased your anti-scam guide and found the information very interesting and informative. I have already been on two trips to Russia and Ukraine on tours to visit several ladies I have corresponded with and have been left with very mixed feelings. I have been left with questioning the sincerity of some of the ladies I met. On my first trip I did find one lady that I was interested in and did start a visa process for her, on the day the visa was approved she changed her mind. The second trip was more confusing. I only was able to meet three of the ladies I had corresponded with before the trip and I met several other interesting ladies on the trip. I after spending time with each I promised them that I would continue to correspond with them upon my return home and would make a decision from there. Since that time I have gone back for a second meeting with one lady, which was a complete disaster as far as I was concerned. She did as me for money to continue corresponding with her and I agreed to help. She told me that she had to pay for a translator service. After writing each other for four months, I asked her for a second meeting with the understanding that after our second meeting I would make a decision. I felt that we need more time together to talk and to get to know each other better. We agreed to meet in Spain and I made arrangements for two rooms at a nice hotel. I also paid for her travel through a local travel agency in Moscow. We did meet and spend the week together but it was hell for me. The whole week I could never get her to talk much and all she wanted to do was shop. The only time she did want to talk was to ask why American men come to Russia when they are not serious. I did receive several emails from her after the trip and all she would say about the trip that the reason for her distance was that we could not communicate due to a language barrier. I am still in correspondence with two ladies and would like to meet with them for a second time and make a possible choice but this last trip has made me very cautions. I am unsure about the ladies intentions. One lady lives in St Petersburg and usually writes me once a month. We have written to each other off and on for over two years. During the time we spend together she never asked me for any money and was usually concerned about the cost of meals when we went out. The only demand that she ever made from me while I was there was that I pick her up at her apartment. I have recently considered asking her to meet me in Spain, with the agreement that I will make arrangements threw a local tour agency for her. I have recently decided to start sending her about 30 to 50 dollars a month to help with correspondence costs as well even though she has never asked for money. I do have her home address and phone number but we usually only correspond by email. Would it be safe to consider her serious? The second lady is from Sevastopol. She was serious enough to come to Moscow to meet me. I also went back to her hometown to see where she lives. The only problem I found with her was that she was very pushy. I did feel that she was interested though. My main concern about her is that she has asked for money several times since our meeting. I have also received a letter from her agency in December saying that they are now under new management and that the cost of there services to correspond to Yulia have increased from $5 per letter to $100 per month. This is a significant concern for me. The number of letters I received from Yulia has also decreased from 5 or more to one a month since the agency changed ownership. I do feel that I owe Yulia a second meeting to know for sure about her. The last letter I received from her said that she was moving and she would give me her new phone number and address soon. Do you have any suggestions about what I should do about these two ladies? Thank you, Allen
Dear Allen, Keeping so many women hanging in the air for so long surely had affected your relationship with all of them. They do not feel you are dedicated to the relationship and start looking elsewhere. It is the best to correspond with a few women for a short while (1-3 months), then decide on one of them, then go and visit her as soon as possible. In this way you know each other well enough and at the same time do not develop unrealistic expectations or build a definite (wrong) image of each other. I think you should decide for sure what you want in a mate, then see who meets these requirements and who is interested in you the most, then dedicate yourself to this relationship. If it does not work, then you can consider other variants or start all over. It does not make any sense corresponding with many ladies for a long time since in this way you will not develop close relationship with any of them. Some men say it is a waste to go to Russia to meet only one lady. But if a woman knows you meet other ladies, she feels resentment towards you and it can destroy your possible relationship and her good feelings towards you. At the same time it is possible you meet with this only candidature and will not like each other or there is no chemistry. It may happen. To secure yourself against of this situation, when go to Russia to meet your only lady, buy a few more addresses of women that live at the same city and if your meeting does not work, meet other ladies. But commitment is what makes relationship work, and lack of commitment is what makes it fail; from both sides. If two people are committed to make this particular relationship work, there is much better chance it will work than when they both communicate with many candidates and shop around.
Please, Elena, I need your advice. I was married for 16 years to the mother of my children. I intend to discuss that marriage and divorce up front, probably in my second letter to the ladies who write me. That divorce occurred 4 years ago and for good reason. One year later I was married again. She is a good woman, but we have recently separated for "incompatibility" and will soon be divorced. I have no ties with her like children. Despite these failures I truly believe in and want to have a lifelong happy marriage. How can I convince the ladies of this? How soon should I tell a lady about my more recent failed marriage? And in how much detail? Thank you, John
If you tell women about your past divorces, they feel you still dwell on them and did not let the things go. No one wants to be involved with a man who still did not let go his past. Women actually do not care about your previous failed relationships and why it happened; they might ask but they don't want long explanations and it will only ruin the possibility of your relationship. It is enough to tell a woman you are divorced. Most likely, she will never ask about it again.
Hello Elena; First of all I want to congratulate you on your web site, it's the best that I have found on the internet. I wish you and your family all the best. I'm from West Virginia, in North America, and have been reading just about everything on you site so that I'll have a better knowledge of Russian customs. I have a question that I want to ask you, but first I'll give you a short rundown on what's going on with me and why I contacted you. Back in October of 2002, I joined the Yahoo Personals, mainly because I was hoping to find an American women that knows what she wants in life, I still haven't found one that does. In these personals there's to much game playing going on, first, you either contact them or they contact you, and then as suddenly as it begins, it ends. I found an ad that was posted by a lady in Latvia on October 27th of last year. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen on any of the ads, and I figured that this would be just like all the rest of the ladies that I have contacted, write for a while and then move on to someone else, I was wrong. I'm 55 and she's 53, and we have been writing and talking by phone for the last three and one-half months and our relationship seems to be getting stronger. She has never asked for money and never comes on strong in any of the things she says, but I can tell she cares and is very interested. She's a real lady and very down to earth. She has seen my pictures and I have seen hers. Both of us are attractive for our ages and look much younger than our years. I'm going over to see her on March 4th of this year, after only three plus months of correspondence. I am considered a very nice person by many people, sometimes maybe to nice. This is the question that I wanted to ask and it's very hard to put in words. By the way, she does speak some English, not great, but we do communicate. She lives in the capital city of Riga. While I'm going to be there I'll be staying in an apartment for eight days. I wanted to ask you this, will she want to stay with me while I'm there or stay in her flat. I don't want to offend her, what should I do. Do I ask her to stay with me or do I just let her make that decision. If she does stay with me what happens while we are together. I don't want to lose her, and I'm very nervous about this. I'm not up to date on the sexual customs of Latvia and Russia and want to do what is right by her. I would really appreciate any advice you could give me. I feel a little funny asking you this question, but I feel that you could answer it better than anyone else. Thank you for taking the time to read my e-mail and have a great weekend. Sincerely JR.
Dear J R, You should not ask her to stay with you in the first days; she won't mind to visit you in your flat but do not offer her to stay. If things progress to something more intimate in the natural way (closer to the middle or the end of your visit, but NOT in the first or second day, or she will hate herself - sex on the first or second date is considered inappropriate), then you can ask her if she would like to stay with you. There are no any special customs regarding sex. Usually it is easier to initiate the sexual contact over a bottle of vine and light dinner; you can for example invite her for a dinner to your place, and cook it for her (or you can cook together).
Hello Elena, The information you have here is priceless.
I have enjoyed reading every word, and I mean every word! Great reading.
I do have a question though. We live in interesting times. At the moment, we as Americans are both like and
disliked (depends on what part of the world you on). I was wondering what your
advise would be concerning Russian women at this point in time. Best Wishes
Dear James, In regard to the current political situation, Russian women do not hold anything against Americans, even if they do not approve the war. They separate governments and people. Some women have had bad experience with Russian men, and some had bad experience with American men when started to look abroad. Then they may dislike or be wary of Russian or American men. So the question of likes and dislikes is rather personal than political. In general, Russian people do not have racial or national prejudice.
Hello Elena, my name is Matt, you a have a great website here. It has been very helpful. My question is, why do I keep seeing the same pretty girls on your trusted websites. AFA has many of the same girls as A Pretty woman, I find this a little suspicious and discouraging
Dear Matt, Registering with an agency is free for the women, and they do not have any obligations to register with only one agency. Therefore women register with multiply agencies, to increase their chances.
Hello, First let me thank you for your website, a lot of very useful information. I think I have read the whole thing but still have the following questions. I am Vegetarian and it is absolutely essential that any partner of mine be also. Do such ladies exist in the countries you cover? If so would there be any way of searching for them in your catalogues, or is this information not collected? I apologize if I have missed the answer to this on the website. Thank you for your time, Best Regards Malcolm
There are many women in Russia who take care of their health and watch their diet, but not so many vegetarians. The reason for that is that is is quite expensive to be a vegetarian. Also, the choice of the available vegetarian food is limited. I tried once, and could only bear it for 2 months, and I was feeling hungry all the time. There are many women who would not mind to become vegetarians, I think. The best way to find women who would want to be vegetarians, or are already vegetarians, would be to give a personal ad or place your own profile in a gentlemen's catalog, and state this requirement in your ad. Be aware though that looking for a vegetarian is already a very special requirement, so you should look into the largest possible distribution (for example, our Total Search Package offers distribution of your ad in gentlemen's catalogs, online and in newspapers).
Elena, I just wanted to say what a great service you are providing for a noble cause. I am currently corresponding with a wonderful woman from Kazan. We have been writing each other for about four months. She is so sweet and pure. Not tainted like most American women (I tend to be somewhat bias!). She seems so honest and sincere but I will have to read your guide just to make myself feel at ease. I have so many questions about the whole thing, and your site is a great start. Rather than go into this blindly, the information you provide at least gives me some insight into possibly marrying a Russian lady. I want to educate myself about the decisions I make, not only for me but for the benefit of her. Thank you for providing such a great service. Frank
If this "wonderful woman from Kazan" contacted you herself through some large personals site, please be very careful. There are many scam artists that contact unsuspicious western men and then ask money "for visa and tickets". Real Russian women never contact men who did not clearly express a desire to find a Russian wife, and never contact men through general personals sites, only through specialized Russian dating agencies or other places that do not require paid membership to send letters to members. Please be advised to never send any money to anybody you have not met in person.
Sincerely, Elena Petrova
Elena, had I not done my homework, I too would have been "scammed". I went to your site and checked the blacklist, I almost fell out of my chair! There she was! I don't even know her real name! She has A.K.A.'s a mile long. Thank God I did not fall into the trap completely. I did not send her anything, thank God! We have been writing each other for a couple of months and I really thought she was the most sincere and honest girl I have ever met. So much for that! Well bottom line, your website/services saved me more heartache and money. I really would like to meet a nice Russian girl, and I now know the only way to do it is to go through a service like yours. I'm only sorry that the legitimate people end up getting burned because of the few bad ones out there. Again thank you and keep up the good work! Frank
Dear Elena, I am writing to thank you for constructing your very informative website. I am now studying it's contents because I am currently corresponding with a beautiful woman from Ekaterinburg. So far only a few letters have been exchanged, so it is too early to know if this connection may blossom into romance. Yet, I am hopeful. I have been contacted by Russian women in the past, but I quickly terminated those contacts when within two letters they both were requesting money be sent to them. My distrust grew from the moment of those requests. So far, the current woman has not requested money. While I do not know how this contact will develop, I find myself very curious. Consequently, I am studying the information on your website in order to learn her customs. The information you supply on your site is very helpful in extending my understanding of the factors involved in meeting and pursuing a Russian romance. Thank you very much for making the effort to supply men like me with this information. I hope all is well with your family. Thank you for enhancing the chances that I may find one of my own. Most Sincerely, Richard
Dear Richard, Thank you for the kind words. Regarding your current contact, if it was not you who initiated it and it was a response to an ad that you placed at some large personals site, please be very careful. Usually such contacts turn to be scams since real Russian women do not have credit cards and money to pay the membership fee, which is required to send letters to other members. If it was you who initiated the contact, and even better, if it was through a specialized Russian dating agency, then you don't have to worry. In any case, NEVER send money to anybody you have not met in person - even if she is from some other country than Russia! I have come across some American women scammers that beg for money through Internet personals by sending letters to hundreds male members, then complaining about a desperate situation she and her kids are in. So dating scams are not a Russian invention; crooks exist in all countries (unfortunately). If you are interested in Russian women, I would suggest using a specialized Russian dating agency such as Elena's Models www.elenasmodels.com where profiles are checked before the publication.
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Why Russian Women? - If you decided to find yourself a Russian wife, you would be inundated with questions of the type "Why Russian Women?" from everybody you cared to share your idea with. Surprisingly, every Russian woman you are writing to will ask the same question: "Why do you want to find a wife in Russia?" After a while, you might start questioning your own sanity in doing the thing which everybody, including your dates in this Internet rendezvous, consider strange enough to request explanations. Here you will find some ready-to-use answers for your family, friends and Russian women you are writing to.Myths and Reality - There is too much prejudice towards Russian women seeking men, both positive and negative. I call this prejudice "myths", and consider them one by one.
Russian women secrets - Do's and don'ts in your relationship with a Russian lady.
The Universal Crib On Finding A Russian Wife - The most compressed, step-by-step guidance on finding, courting and marrying a Russian woman.
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